Had a very startling experience in church yesterday. Our marriage and family pastor stood up in front of the church and confessed to an “inappropriate relationship” with another woman other than his wife. The details aren’t important for this story; what’s important is that he asked forgiveness and resigned his position voluntarily. He and his wife will go through counseling through our church and hopefully be able to put things back together again.
I write this because Bob and I had a very similar experience back in 2011. I had fallen into another obsession with a guy I barely knew—he was a co-worker of Bob’s that I had met only twice. He was attractive and had a loopy personality and was very much married to his college sweetheart. I had friended him on Facebook like I had several other people that worked with Bob and was eavesdropping on his life that way. I talked it out and talked it out in therapy and would sometimes seem to be over it, but other times I couldn’t go a day without fantasizing about him. Mid-July 2011 was one of those times.
One night the obsession was particularly intense. I was wrapped up in thinking about him and wanted to talk to him, hear his voice again. So I pulled out my cell phone, asked for information, and called him. I felt fairly certain he wouldn’t know who I was—I have a cell phone that doesn’t show the identity of the caller, just the number if you have caller ID. I knew I wouldn’t be on there long; I literally just wanted to hear him talk.
He answered and I evaded his question when he wanted to know who was calling. After a few more words, I said, “I just called because I wanted to hear your voice again.”
He said, “Ooo-kay.” Then after a few more seconds of silence, he hung up.