Danger Zone

I’ve written before about how dangerous springtime is to me, and I can already feel some of it coming on.  I didn’t really want to blog today because I kind of feel like I have nothing helpful to say right now.  I know it doesn’t have to incapacitate me, and I know it, too, shall pass.  But the inbetween time is still difficult to get through day by day.

I think the line I hate hearing the most is that “You don’t have anything to be depressed about.”  And that’s true in a lot of ways.  I have a very good life.  I have family and a husband who love me, I have friends, I have a job, I have time to pursue my interests, etc.  At the same time, I have friends and family that are ill.  Both of my parents are disabled, and I worry about them.  My dad doesn’t like my husband, and that upsets me.  Just because I look fine on the outside doesn’t mean that nothing is going on inside.  But bipolar depression doesn’t always respond to outward circumstances.  It’s a brain disorder that needs medication in order to correct it.  And that medication comes with side effects that aren’t always pleasant.

I thought of two more contacts for possible job opportunities in creative writing, so I’m going to be trying to call them today.  Pray that I’ll get some direction soon so I can begin making plans for whatever God has in store for me.  Thanks for reading!

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. 4gazpacho
    Feb 18, 2015 @ 12:02:11

    I know how you are feeling. I’m in the midst of one of the worst depressive episodes I’ve had for years. I feel literally paralyzed. I know I’ll get through this, because I’ve been through worse. But it’s hard. I’m praying for you! SAD is hard no matter the twist it takes and no matter the cause.

    Like

    Reply

  2. jdlwhitehead
    Feb 18, 2015 @ 12:39:30

    I’m praying for you, too.

    Like

    Reply

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