I checked out a local jobs site for the fun of it, and saw where one of my old freelance clients is hiring a full-time writer for the suburban beat. It’s so tempting to think about applying. I’m tired of not working already even though I’ve only been out of work two months. But I just don’t know if I can handle full-time work or not. That’s not true actually. I know I can’t. When I tried teaching three classes last fall, I failed miserably and felt miserable the whole time. ANd soon we’ll be busy with school stuff again and I will feel better.
I just wish bipolar disorder had never happened to me. I think about how well I was doing in my career before it did and I wonder what I could be accomplishing today almost ten years later. Occasionally I just want to kick myself for letting it all go and not trying harder to keep working. But I don’t know what else I could have done. I was trying to pivot to writing creatively full-time, but I just didn’t really have any success. Hopefully this MFA program can bring that to fruition. I need to get over my writer’s back for that to happen, though. We’ll see what happens once classes start.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!!