So I asked two friends of mine also in recovery about my confusion over “remission”. Both responded with good points. Mary said that I needed to research the concept, looking up exactly how my doctor might be using the term. I did and found that remission simply menus a restoration of functioning of a certain percentage. SO it is not an absence of symptoms but a lessening of their impact on functioning. Lord knows I have improved a great deal over my lowest lows.
Mike said that he would celebrate his tenth year of sobriety In a month and that while he thought that was great, stopping drinking didn’t’ solve all of his problems. So he described it as “being cured” while still having issues to deal with. I can relate to that explanation as well.
What ‘s been so disorienting to me is that my perspective changed so much. I went from someone dealing pretty well with a disabling condition to someone who was supposed to be dealing with issues so much better and failing. Failing is not something I am good at or with.
I did get to the grocery store today and got most everything we needed. I don’t think I forgot anything important. I did lie down this afternoon when I felt sleepy but stayed awake and just rested. I did a good bit of work on my class early this morning and feel good about that. So I have some accomplishments to look back on. I think by taking one day at a time, I can Manage to see what I can do and not do on a daily basis and try to not think too far ahead.
Not Quite Right 