A Llittle Better Than the Last

I’m sorry.  I don’t have the energy to be creative with titles today.  I took cough medicine but slept kind of rough still.  I’m trying to be optimistic, but I’ve got deadlines bearing down and no feeling of incentive to meet them.  I’m only one week post-surgery and feel about like it. I dont’ know what happened to me that I’m not bouncing back very well.  Right afterwards I seemed to be doing really well, but I’m starting to wonder if that wasn’t just the painkillers talking. I’m so very tired. I’m used to caffeine propping me up and I can’t have cokes anymore because of having my gallbladder out.  I wonder how long it will take to get over not having it and start feeling good again.  And I can’t help but wonder if I’m not reverting back to depression somehow.  I hope not.  I have too much to do to be depressed.

Here’s hoping everyone else is having a good week.  Keep praying for me.


Better Day

I feel some better.  I slept on the couch last night and got some relief from the cough from being propped up halfway.  So I don’t feel so bad,  Followed up with my doctor about my cholesterol and  got a z-pac prescription and a safe OTC cough syrup from him.  So I’m looking forward to better sleep tonight and being able to work on my class assignment tomorrow.  I printed the work I’m reviewing off yesterday and look to write my paper tomorrow, revise it on Thursday, and send it on Friday.  Iv’e been  thinking about it since it was assigned so I think I will have it in hand once I start typing.

I still can’t do any significant house work lifting anything like laundry etc. for a while, so I’m not sure how it’s all gong to get done.  I may just have to do it myself anyway.  I may talk my youngest into helping this afternoon.  That’s the only solution I see so far is for her to actually put the in and out of the machines and me just tell her what to do.  We will see.

Bad Day

Had a horrid night list night with this cough I’ve got.  And so therefore I’ve felt rotten today.  I am tired of being a good patient.  I’v had three surgeries in seven months and I am tired of being rushed through recovery and having to take up all the slack as soon as I can,  I need a serious rest.  I wish we could schedule a getaway for a few days and just relax. But there’s just too much going on for that to happen  I’m afraid.

ANd I’m nervous about a paper I have coming up.  I haven’t written a paper for a grade in over 20 years. I’m scared that I  don’t know how it’s supposed to be done any more.  I’ll just have to get it done and see what happens. But that doesn’t stop me from being anxious about it,

I finally just sat down and cried and I think got it all out of my system.  At least I hope so.  Bob’s going to be home soon enough.

Hope everyone has a good week.  And I hope I can sleep tonight.

New Wrinkle

So now I can add a backache to my list of hurting places .  DOn’t know where it came from but it came on last night like gangbusters.  I’m sure that some of it is how I have to lie on my back to sleep–very stiffly and not moving.  I have about twenty minutes until I can take my next pain pill, so I will do that then go back to bed.  I’m developing a lot of bruising around my incisions, so that is starting to look interesting,.  I go back in two weeks to get checked up  on so I will see how that goes.  I feel like today’s going to be another long day with not being able to do very much.  But sleeping should help move it along.

Going to cut this sort so I can go ahead and take my meds soon,  Hope everyone has a great weekend!


Now I am recovering from gallbladder surgery.  I have four nasty-looking cuts and some pain breaking through the meds,  But otherwise I am fine,  I have to e careful what I eat as my body adjusts to not having a gallbladder, but otherwise I think I am doing fine,  I’m resting up and seeing how lazy I can be 🙂  They want me up miving around but not necessarily doing anything. So I am just walking around the house a bit and trying not to overdo.

I think I will cut this short and go lie down some more.  Hope everyone else has a good rest of the week and weekend!

Here We Go Again

It is again unconscionably early and we’re getting ready to go to the hospital for my gallbladder surgery.   I get there at 5:45 a.m. and they start surgery at 7:30 supposedly.  At least I hope everything goes that smoothly.  Miracle of miracles, I barely coughed last night so wasn’t tempted to get a cough drop after midnight.  Hope that run holds through the hospital, too.

See you all after the surgery tomorrow.

Happy Birthday to ME!

So now I’m celebrating my 45th birthday today.  I’m handling it petty well–much better than I did my 40th. My fortieth I think I was suicidal. But now I have some years of stabiity to look back on instead of time wasted (in my eyes).  So I am in a much better place now than I was then.

Trying to get some things done before my surgery tomorrow.  I’m doing laundry so I won’t be lifting any right afterwards. So that is a chore.  But at least I won’t have to worry about it if I get it done.

Put on my favorite jacket today and found out it was a little snug :(.  That did  not make me happy. But maybe after my surgery recovery is over I can start some exercise,  I need to do something because the weight is not stay8ig under control.

Went out to lunch with Bob today and was good–I got chicken and watermelon and a small slice of chocolate cake for my birthday cake.  I feel like taking a nap but my little one will be coming home soon so I don’t really have time for that,  But I wish I did 🙂

Here’s hoping that everyone has a good week–best wishes!

Another Day, Another Surgery

Counting down to surgery on Wednesday.  But before that I get to celebrate my birthday, my 45th, on Tuesday.  I went out to lunch with the family on Sunday. out to lunch with my mother-in-law today, and will go out to lunch tomorrow with Bob as a private date. Fun fun fun!

I’m still doing well in class–I made another A on a small project and that was nice.   This week I’m writing Twitter poetry.  I’m taking a poem I wrote about mania (Crazy Days) and adapting the stanzas to twitter length. So that was a fun little project this morning.  I’m going to turn it in tomorrow and see how it works.  Then I’ll have my assignments out of the way before surgery.

Hopefully everything will go well and I’ll go home the same day. That’s what I’m shooting for.  Pray for me that everything will go well with no complications.

My Cousin

Finally got my cousin to answer the phone today after getting his number from mom this weekend.  THis one is the one that has just been diagnosed bipolar. He’s left his wife of 15 years and says he wants out of the marriage.  SO I talked to him today.

Definitely manic.  Carrying on and laughing with me the entire conversation–even when talking about suicide and depression.  He said for him that things were always really good or really bad, and he’d been that way his whole life.  He’s had a difficult life–his mother died when he was young, he’s had two wives cheat on him, he had his home destroyed by a tornado–on and on and on.  He said he’d been given a medication and he didnt’ like the way it made him feel–after some questioning, he said it made him want to cry all the time.  He said that when he could stay focused, he felt like he could control his mood swings, but when he got “agitated” he couldn’t.

I talked to him about doing things that didn’t make sense–about impaired insight and mixed states and my little trip off to Louisiana and  my suicide attempt and how all of that could really, really hurt you.  I asked him to please, please follow up with a doctor and  try other medications and see how they affected him.  And I asked that he let his wife stand with him if she were willing because of how much help Bob had been to me.    He didn’t argue with me or get hostile for me interfering in his business.  So I thought it was a successful discussion, especially when he asked if he could call me if he needed to talk,

So we will see how this goes.  Pray for him and his family that they can come back together and have a successful marriage and life even with a diagnosis like this one.  ANd pray that if he calls, I know what to say.

More Mind-Blowing

Have to do a short paper on a  selected electronic poem.  Just finished viewing one written with aid of a random computer algorithm. It seemed completely random until I came upon “XANAX” spelled out using capital A’s.  That one seemed planned 🙂  I get the feeling I could write ANYTHING I wanted to about it and be right,  I”ll have to keep looking at it to see if any of it makes sense.

Bob is home sick today.  He started throwing up this morning.  Hopefully it won’t last long–he’s not a bad patient, but he hates just sitting around and not accomplishing something in the day.

I have a video conference tonight that I can hopefully make the computer work and participate.  Here’s hoping.  I love that technology makes this possible, but I feel like an idiot trying to make it work. I wish the computer would accept voice commands, but it probably wouldn’t be able to understand my Southern accent. 🙂

I’ve wanted to sleep some today, but my cough won’t let me lie down comfortably.  I slept most of yesterday just because. I was tired and felt like I needed sleep.  So I did.