Hard

Having bipolar disorder really affects your relationships with people.  Others often don’t realize how hard it is to interact with other people when you have this disease. I often come across to people as brusque and rough because interaction is so very difficult when your moods are fluctuating.  I do my level best not to.  And I do my best to not let bipolar be an excuse for bad behavior.  Please pray for me that I can do better in this realm as I continue to recover.

This Gets A LIttle Confusing . . .

But hang with me because it comes out well in the end.  Saturday I was checking my email when I got a noti ce in my box from a literary contest I had entered once I started school at the urging of my professor,  They said I was a finalist in the contest but they did not have the name of my story.  SO I sent the name and told two people–Bob and my professor,

My next email I get says, sorry, I’m only a semi-finalist although the judging was very close.  So I kind of forget about it.

TOday I get an email titled “For Finalists and Semi-finalists” telling me they want to publish the finalists and some semifinalists in their December issue along with the winners and attached a contract tot he email  I look and my story is not on the list.  SO why did I get the email?  I decide to fill it out anyway in hopes they decide to publish me in the future.  SO I send it back.

A hour later I get an email thanking me for the contract and telling me that I WAS actually a finalist and will be published in the December issue with the winners.  So that is exciting news and I look forward to seeing my story there!

Overdo

I think I overdid it yesterday.  Today I dont’ feel like doing anything.  I have a paper to write that’s  due in a week and a half and I need to be working on my portfolio, but today I am just sleepy and tired all over.  I’m on my second Dr. Pepper so maybe that will chirk me up a bit.,

I did have one notable experience at the conference that I haven’t written about yet.  One of the writers is the marketing director for University Press of Mississippi, the local scholarly press.   I dealt with him a  great deal when I was dong book reviews for various publications and brought his press some good publicity in various venues, but I never met him in person.

WEll, at a reception THursday night, I was waiting for a break in the conversation he was in so I could introduce myself.    Instead, he finished his conversation, turned to me, and said, “You’re Julie Whitehead, aren’t you?”. He went on to say how glad me was to finally meet me, then as one of the other symposium writers was walking by, he grabbed him by the arm, called his name, and said, “This is Julie WHitehead, a really fine writer from Brandon. Julie, this is” etc.

I was floored.  WE talked a bit about my writing I had done, with the conversation digressing to how pitiful the freelance/news market was nowadays.  He said some of the nicest things to me–how I had really worked my way up in my career and how glad he was to see me doing more writing by signing up for he MFA program. It was really a nice moment in the entire week.

Getting Back in Gear

Putting together laundry and dinner as usual.  Bob sighed when I said we were having red beans and arice.  I guess I’m cooking it too often.  I’ll try and lay off for a while.  Doing peer reviews and assignment for the New Media class. Life is going on as usual. I ran a bunch of errands this morning for candy, medicine, orange juice, and photos for my new Geopoem about Brandon. A few pictures it was raining to much for me to get my computer out.  So I’ll have to get them later.

We’re experiencing the leftovers of Patricia after it hit Mexico,  We’ve had rain the past few days when we haven’t had hardly any for the past two months.  We usually have wet Novembers though, so maybe that will make it up.  WE lost power yesterday twice but have been all right today.

My med change has gone really well, better than I had any right to expect.  I hope they cover the rest of my meds and I don’t have to change any more.  THat was not a change I was ready to make before I left.  But aside from that one bit of nerves the first day and the one night that I didn’t sleep, I think I’m doing really well.

Computer Woes

I wrote a very nice 500 word post Friday only to see the computer eat it.  So I gave up until I got home to my usual internet connection.  ANyway.

The end of the symposium was really great.  We had a gala dinner with PJ O’Rourke as the guest speaker on Friday night.  He was amazing to hear in person. Just as funny as always.  He talked about the 2016 presidential race, and that was funny.  I saw my oldest daughter there–she’s required to attend for her scholarship.  She breezed by me, said hello, introduced me to her roommate and other friends, and then disappeared.  Which I thought was healthy.

So now I have to write a paper for the symposium and catch up on the New Media stuff.  I have a project worked up for my first portfolio workshop.  It’s an extension of my electronic poem. I added two more stanzas for the workshop and will add music for the final project.  I need to work up my map project and work on my hypertext project.  Then I think I’ll make a book trailer for what I hope will be my second book, Rollerskating Over Forty.  I think that’s all I’ll have to do,  That’s four projects.  I’ll talk to my professor about them this morning.

A Little Worried

SO I am starting to wonder about the Geodon.  I went to bed at 8 last night and did not fall asleep until past midnight.  I got up a few times because I had Ideas for projects running through my head and I decided to write them down to get them out of my head so maybe I could relax.  I finally took me doing one of those relaxing exercises–feeling each body part to relax over and over–for me to go to sleep.  THnn Bob calls at 7:30 am to tell me about his parent teacher conference for Rachel and wakes me up.  I don’t know how long ai would have slept except for that.

SO this morning I am sleepy and a little scared that I may be headed for a manic episode off of the ABilify.  I’m just praying against it and hoping that that isn’t the case. Pray for me as I round out this wake wit the conference and that I can sleep and function well until I get home.

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School Day Three

I’m sitting in a college classroom for the second time on this trip.  It’s been 22 years since I’ve done this.  THis is so surreal.  But it feels good and right to be here.  I’m almost finished with my map poem; I have two more locations to take pictures of and then will  post them to twitter after I get loose from my next class meeting.  So that is what is going on with me right this minute.

A few people inn our group know about me and have asked if I’m making it okay..  I really am.  I do see where I’m a little more excitable, but I can’t tell if it’s Geodon or just being around people more is stimulating me.  But I really feel good about howl I’m coping.  So we will see how this more intense events shake out.

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