And have been all morning! I didn’t go back to sleep after everyone left this morning for the first time in I don’t know how long. I’ve been awake and working on school stuff all morning, doing my reading and responding to different posts and doing laundry and successfully grocery shopping. I feel so good right now. I know God is with me and healing me–I prayed a really strange prayer last night and I’m not sure what led me to it. I said, “God, if you want me to sleep in the mornings, I’ll sleep and if you want me awake, I’ll be awake”. And I think today was my answer. At least for today.
I read a really profound essay this weekend called “Scrambled Eggs”. It’s about a woman with a traumatic brain injury and how she struggles to maintain her day to day life. I could so identify with her. It was scary. She wrote a line that describes what it’s like to live with a brain disorder of any kind– “going down the highway of life with three tires on four wheels”. She illustrated her life be describing what it was like to try to cook a meal in her current state. I really did think she did a good job showing the limitations she lives under in trying to go about her life. I just want to keep improving on the Abilify and my other meds and try to get back into remission like I was. I hope I can live under God’s grace in that.