I didn’t accomplish anything yesterday except grocery shopping at the last minute. I just stayed in bed most of it. I just feel so tired. And defeated. And I don’t know why. I guess my middle one graduating is getting to me more than I thought. I have a lot accomplished but just need to push forward and finish up the last bits–turn in my final project for Nonfiction Workshop and get ready for the Residency.
I found out my youngest one will finish school two days before I leave. That for some reason was depressing to me. By the time I get back, my oldest will be gone for her internship and we will only have a few weeks to rearrange the middle one and the little one’s rooms before my middle one goes off to college. That’s going to be hectic.
I just feel kind of out of control–like my life is careening on a track that I can’t get off of or stop on. I keep trying to settle down and life won’t let me. I guess this is a warning that I’m not as healthy as I hoped to be by this time. I don’t need to take on a lot of extra stuff I suppose like trying to work or anything like that. That makes me feel bad to type. I hate admitting how fragile my recovery seems to be. The middle one having that wreck seems like it really threw me off.
Pray for me that I’ll get better. I need to be better to face what all is coming.