Went to church last night and got a really good sermon on just the issue I have uncovered in therapy–about trusting God when you’re in a trial. I prayed that God can take what’s been uncovered in my life and change it to where I trust in him, not in a person, whether it’s Bob or just whoever is handy. I really hope I can make this trust a reality in my life, which likely means some trials are coming my way soon. I’m not looking forward to that, but if it takes that to put trust in God and not a man, then I suppose I’ll just have to go through it to thoroughly learn the lesson.
I don’t know what this means for the fiction I write. ALl my stories have heroines that have followed the same pattern as I have, falling into a trial or temptation and getting involved with a man or looking for validation in a man the same way I have been. I’ve always been puzzled at the reactions that my heroines get when people read my fiction, but it’s because I was programmed that way as a child and didn’t know that other people don’t think that way. Now that I know what kind of impulse I have been writing out of, I don’t know if I can find other subjects for my fiction and create more believable characters. I will have to pray about that as well.
Please pray for me that I can make this faith journey without putting other people in my life into jeopardy. That I can make it real in my life in the small things to be prepared for bigger things likely down the road,