I spent Saturday down with a stomach bug. I slept almost all weekend. I didn’t go to the dance competition and I went to morning church but not night. I was so weak, and that was after only one incident of actually throwing up. I did get to see my middle child–she came on down to visit although we gave her the option not to and my parents did as well even though we called them ahead of time too. I think being social for a little while helped my mood but I had no strength to do anything. I slept the rest of the day then we went to get me a baked potato and I slept some more.
And it might not have even been a bug– it might have been psychosomatic because the book I’ve been reading for class talks in gruesome detail about how the author has a phobia about throwing up and the efforts the doctors have gone through to help him. So it may have psyched me out. I don’t even know. I am so touchy right now it doesn’t take much to throw me off mentally. I get to talk to my psychiatrist about it tomorrow. I don’t know what else he can do–I did well for three days there then the crippling free-floating anxiety came back. I did think to do some yoga to relax after I got sick–I did repeated “cat” and “cow” poses until I felt relaxed.
I finally came up with what is bothering me about my Drama class. I don’t get what he is driving at. It reminds me of how I felt SO long ago in my Form and Theory of Poetry class I took back the last time I was in grad school. I just had to sit down with the professor and tell him how lost I felt and get some clarity. I think I am going to do that tonight in conference with my Forms in Drama teacher and see if I can get the same kind of clarity. I mean, he’s not going over anything I haven’t already seen–several of the plays I’ve read before (although I don’t really remember them) and I took Greek Lit at Ole Miss, Intro to Theatre at MSU, and 20th Century Drama with this same teacher a few summers ago. But I just feel so lost at how he is approaching it. SO I will try to talk to him and figure out a way for the class to make sense.
My youngest is having her teeth worked on today and Bob took her–when we scheduled it she was going to be off school but they had a snow day between then and now so he had to pick her up at school and all that. So hopefully she will do well. I am going to leave office hours early and go home so Bob can go to work as soon as they get back.
I took up Research Journals today in my class I am teaching and will be trying to grade those. I am tempted to cut them huge breaks because I am too tired and sore and mentally worn out to care. But that would be a disservice to them and those who did work to do it right. So I will read over them carefully and see who did them right and who did not.
I need to make some copies then I am going to head home to catch my youngest from finishing her doctor’s appointment. I am so sleepy and so disorganized thinking today. I may put off grading until tomorrow in hopes that I feel better. We will see.