Archive | April 2019

Happy Birthday Redux

Happy Birthday to my middle one!  She turns 20 today and is such a cool kid.  She’s smart, driven, and moving and shaking the world she travels in.  I haven’t talked to her today because she has finals throughout the day but will call tonight and wish her a happy birthday.  She’s already gotten her birthday presents from us when she came down Easter so that was fun.

Again, it’s been a wild ride being her mom as well.  SHe trips and falls and is klutzy in a mild way–her first injury was rolling off our bed one night and breaking her leg when she was eight months old.  You haven’t lived until you’ve gone around with a baby in a big pink cast. 🙂  People stared and whispered until we just stopped going out.  But she’s made it pretty good since then with only minor injuries here and there.

We couldn’t be prouder of her and what she’s accomplished in school and in life and we look forward to whatever’s coming.  See you in a few days, Little Bit.  We love you!


Long Day Ahead

I don’t know why it feels like a long day already, but it does.  I had class, people turned in their final paper for regular class, and I’ve printed out all the stuff for the final exam.  I just feel so weighted down today.  I feel like there’s a lot still to do–I have to grade the papers and hand them back Wednesday and go over the final exam then.  I am not looking forward to this process–it looks like it’s going to be a complicated thing to set up in the computer and of course, all kinds of user error and other things can crop up in such a process.  I just wish this class didn’t have so many requirements attached to it.  Ick.

All I have left to do in my classes are the finals–a final project I will do for Memoirs and then a final exam prompt for Drama that I can’t get into until May 5.  SO I will do the final project for Memoirs and turn it in before May 5, then do the Drama paper before May 8.  So that is my schedule for writing those papers.   I know what I’m doing for Memoirs and plan to start on that after I finish grading these papers.  I’m looking forward to it since the stuff I am exploring in Memoirs is going to be a part of my thesis that I haven’t yet written about. So it’s important to get this right and slot it into my document.

I need to wrap presents for my oldest when she comes home in May to open for her birthday.  I am looking forward to that–there’s a possibility that my middle one will still be home from college when the oldest comes in.  So hopefully we will have everyone in the house for two days for it to look like old times again.

I gave in and took my sedative again last night. I had been off of it because I hadn’t gotten it refilled on time, and I thought I would see if I could do without it at night because I was having so much daytime sleepiness.  But I wasn’t sleeping well at night without it–long periods of being awake and staring into the darkness.  ANd that’s not a good sign.  SO I started back on it and slept well last night.  Still crazy dreams but that’s nothing new.

Well, I need to get on with grading and what not.  Hope everyone has a successful week and enjoys the beginning of spring–it’s so pretty here today and is supposed to be all week.  Thanks for reading!

Happy Birthday!

My oldest turned 23 today at Disney World–she worked early shift and has the rest of the day to enjoy her birthday.  I am so blessed to her mom.  She is feisty, funny, and honest and almost always gives us sparks of joy whenever we talk to her.  We just wished her a happy birthday so we did get to talk to her on her birthday.  I was thinking this morning how she was actually born on a Sunday, right after church was getting out, and we started calling our friends to let them know and everyone was still out to lunch 🙂

It’s not always been easy being a mom–I second-guessed myself a lot as a mother in some decisions we made–for me to continue working, for us to send her to public school, to not lean on her about her grades like we were done, etc.  And I continue to pray every day that bipolar disorder will not attack her and her sisters like it did me.

But in the end, we always came back to the fact that we knew her and our other two  better than anyone else did and we would know what was best for our own kids as long as we prayed about it and thought hard and long about why we made the decisions we made.

I know how blessed she is to be able to live her dream out right now in this time of her life, and I pray that she continues strong on whatever path God has set her on.  Happy Birthday again from Mom and Dad .

(And day after tomorrow I’ll wish happy birthday to my middle one–stay tuned!)


FInally Friday

I have never been so glad to see a sunny Friday day as I am today.  End of the week, so pretty outside, almost done with teaching, finally finished grading the monster paper, feel like I have a handle on my end-of-the-semester papers for the classes I’m taking–I just feel really confident today and will be getting things done that still need doing.

We have our final dance competition this weekend–a small local one, so that will be easy. Then the only bit left is the recital, which is usually a hassle but still is the year-end event and will be the last of their performances.

I still need to do my revision paper and may spend this afternoon doing it.  I still need to go to the grocery store after my hair appointment then I will be free to work on that.  I don’t think it’s going to take a lot of time–it’s just one more thing to check off the list for the week.

Next week I have one last reading response to do then I am done with those–then I concentrate on my final paper for that class.  I have one last critical paper to finish for Drama then a final-exam paper to do.  SO that will make next week interesting,

I feel not so sleepy today–I slept good last night except for elaborate dreams that now make no sense to me :).  I did wake up once but other than that got  a good night’s rest and don’t feel so out of it.  I may actually get caught up on house stuff this weekend if I can keep the good energy going.  I don’t feel manic, just awake and able to do.  SO that is nice too,

WEll, I need to eat lunch before I go to my hair appointment so will go ahead and fix it now,  I’m still steady eating better and losing weight so that will be nice, nice, nice to reflect on this weekend. Hope everyone has a great day and a good weekend!

Terribly Rainy Day

Another day of storms, it seems.  My backyard has reached its carrying capacity of water–there are standing puddles all in it after about and hour and a half of solid heavy rain.  Not that it had time to dry out from the last batch of storms that came through last Thursday.  It’s not helping my mood or my energy levels any that it’s so dark outside.  I have too much to do to keep indulging myself in being lazy.

I did finally finish my weekly reading response last night.  Hardest 750 words I have had to come up with in a long time.  And I still have my revision project for that class to do.  I’ve finished one of my papers for Drama and still need to add the details for the next paper there as well.

I don’t know how I’m going to get the grading done.  So far it’s taken me fifteen minutes to grade each paper. That may not sound like a long time, but that’s only four papers in an hour–and with sixteen students, it’s a long time when all put together.  I did do one intelligent thing, though–I told them the final paper only needed to be 750 words.  That will really cut down on the reading time for them.

I suppose I’d better start on doing all of these things in some kind of order and accomplishing something.  Wish me well!

PS Laundry is in the dryer and a paper is turned in.

PPS Laundry is done and half of the papers graded.








I slept better and therefore feel better.  I started grading this morning and plan to come back to it once I finish this blog.  Such a slog through the papers, though.  It takes about fifteen minutes to grade each one and with sixteen students, that’s a little over three hours worth of grading total.  So that’s no fun.  But it must be done and I can’t guarantee my mood will be better later on, so I will work today.

I go see the dietician today at one o’clock for more weigh-in and hopefully more advice on cutting back or on exercising.  I’ve started pacing around whenever I’m on the phone to increase my mobility somewhat and will probably start walking outside a little every day once school is out.    I know I’ve lost weight in that I am wearing a dress today that used to be very tight and now is only slightly tight.  Still have a long way to go however.

I know I try to stay positive on here, but I am really struggling right now.  I have papers to work on and am running out of time to put them off until I feel good enough to write them.  Four more assignments for Memoirs and two  more for Drama.   I am really feeling overwhelmed and nervy about them.  We will have to see what happens–I just hope I can get it all finished before May 8.  I have to, since I give a final on May 8 and turn the grades in the next morning.  Lethal amounts of stress if I don’t finish all the papers before that.

I am so very glad I took Memoirs, but I am glad I don’t have to take two classes at once again during my time to finish.  I will go to residency this summer, then two more classes (one fall and one spring), then thesis.  Somewhere I need to get one more hour of residency–possibly the fall one while I am working on thesis–then I will be done for sure.

Well, let’s get back to the papers.  Hope everyone has a good rest of the week.



Didn’t SLeep Well

I didn’t sleep well last night and so today I am more tired and sleepy than usual.  SO that has me feeling down in that I don’t feel like accomplishing anything.  I certainly don’t want to grade papers like this because I will make mistakes.

I don’t know if this is one night’s worth of feeling bad or if it is starting a trend.   I don’t like feeling so bad and don’t like sleeping all day long.  But that;s what I’ve done so far and may spend the afternoon doing as well.  I need to do other things as well but just don’t feel up to it.  Maybe I just have my summer vacation feelings going on too early.  I only have a week and a half of school left then I will be free for several days before exams.

I have more stuff to write for my classes but not very much–it should be easy to do but right now feels monumentally impossible.  I feel a little bit encouraged that I was even able to open this app and do this post today–I considered skipping out altogether.  But I didn’t–I came and wrote honestly and that helps. It’s not the end of the world and I have been here before and will make it through again, I suppose,

I’m not suicidal and I don’t want to run away and realizing that helps too.  I’m not too far gone.  I just have to make it through.

Keep praying for me that my spirits and energy will go on the upswing enough for me to get everything done that needs doing.  Thanks for reading!