Archive | June 2019


My youngest goes to a dance clinic today–she would be going for three days but we had scheduled this vacation before her teacher planned it, so she will only go for today.  I woke up on time today so let’s see if I can stay awake all day.

Need to run to the drug store and refill meds so we will have enough for the trip.  I’ll do that after I drop her off at dance.  I’m not sure what else I will do today besides pack up my clothes and whatnot.  It looks like another lazy day, so we will see how I manage.

I need to be working on converting my play script to a screenplay format, but it is SO BORING  to do.  It’s basically a line-by-line edit trying to make the script look like a screen play–a lot of  tabbing and centering and that sort of thing.  Nothing creative at all about it. But I need to do it if I’m going to enter it into the competition, so I need to work on it.  But I can only do a couple of pages at a time before I get frustrated at how much needs to be done.  I wonder if it would be easier just to do it from scratch.  but I don’t think so.

So we need to go.  Hope everyone has a good rest of the week. I won’t be blogging while I’m gone, so I will see you all maybe Tuesday or so?  Happy Wednesday!



Well. . .

I slept in this morning which I haven’t done since before residency.  So the meds are making me sleepy.  We will see what happens through the rest of the day.  Hopefully I can stay awake and still get things done.

Candy and Christy are here and we have had fun talking.  I finished breakfast and am just trying to wake up.  I have lunch on the agenda today with my friend Anita so that will be fun.

I’ve decided I’m not going to seek other avenues for work unti summer is just about over–probably once band camp starts.  That way I can be patient with MCIR about their grant. I will start exploring maybe other avenues by then.  So we will see what happens.

WE got my youngest back yesterday–she is sunburned but other wise okay for her experience at my mom’s.  My mother-in-law is supposed to pick her up or visit this afternoon so that will be fun for her.

I need to start packing for our vacation so I think I will go to work on that.  Hope everyone has a good day and a good rest of the week.  We will see how this trial of medication goes for me.

Mania Checkup

Went to see Dr. Bishop.  He agreed that what I was describing could go manic or could be me returning to baseline.  I told him I had been screwed up so long I no longer knew what normal felt like.  He suggested I go up on Trileptal to see if that would help my sleep and ease up the racing thoughts or if it would just turn me back into a zombie.  He said if it zombified me, to drop back down and just see where the mood went from there.  But to keep him posted.  So now there is a plan, at least.

My youngest has been going to y parents this weekend and seems to have been enjoying herself.  She comes back today so we will see how that goes.  I will go back to cooking at night :).  I need to start laundry and get that going before we leave for our trip Thursday,  So I will work on that this morning.

I just need clarity in my life–do I need to work or not?  Is my restlessness mania or not?  I need answers.

I also need to finish my last essay for class.  I will work on that today while I have the energy and the deadline to motivate me.  I’m also going to email the editor at MCIR to ket her now I will be out of town Thursday through Tuesday  I’m going to give her my husband’s cell so she can call me if things pan out while I am vacationing.

WEll, I hope everyone has a good Monday and a good week overall!





SO  I went to see the life coach today.  She asked what I was there for, and I told her I wanted to work but had about exhausted the avenues I knew about to get any.  SO we brainstormed for a while about what I needed to do to find other avenues of satisfying my need to work and get over this boredom.

She said she had worked with bipolar people before and knew that boredom was lethal to them–they would work to find something to occupy themselves even if it turned out to be dysfunctional or self-defeating.  So she understood that.  I told her I had come up with three opportunities since calling her initially, but that they were taking  a long time to come to fruition. SO we came up with more people I could talk to and find ways to accomplish what seems to be my mission to help people with mental illness.

It was a very good talk and she was very professional and helpful and open to all kinds of ideas but understanding that I had some roadblocks that were unique to me.  So I left promising to keep in touch and let her know if anything came of  anything we discussed.

So we will see what happens.  I will continue to wait on doing very much until the summer is over–see if the MCIR reporting job comes through, which seems like the best fit for me where I would be paid to write (who’da thunk that was a thing!)  We’re going to be traveling a lot this summer and will see what happens.

Hope everyone else is having a productive day and has a good weekend.  Happy Friday!


I have an appointment with  Dr. Bishop Monday because I am starting to feel manic.  I have high energy with nowhere for it to go.  I don’t want it to get worse and turn in on itself.  Yesterday I took a Klonopin to stop the pacing and the racing thoughts.  I feel better today but still needing something to do to occupy myself. I am working on my papers and will likely turn them in tomorrow.  We will be out of town on the actual due date so I am going to turn them in early.

I did sleep last night after taking my meds so I’m not yet in full-blown mania.  But I do want to check in with him and Tillie next week and see what is going on.

Bob went to the doctor today and has a hernia.  He’s had a bulge in his belly button for a while and he asked the doctor about it today when he went in for a checkup.  They told him he’d have to have surgery and that it would only get worse, not better, without it.  In other words, it wasn’t just going to go away.  So.  We will see what comes of that,

Still manicy-feeling but not as bad as yesterday.  Maybe it won’t last very long and since I know what it’s about, I won’t crash into depression from it.  I just don’t know what else to do other than check in about it.  Keep thinking about me so I don’t get worse or start any of my other manic tricks.



I need to start on my assigned papers for my class I just finished.  I have to write two 3-5 page papers on the residency experience.  One of the workshops and one on the seminars.  So I am looking forward to that this morning.  I plan to at least start them once I finsih this post.

Otherwise things are going well.  My youngest is enjoying VBS at church, helping out with the kids.  Bob is having a bit of a difficult time at work some days, but I think it’s just preparations for increasing their territory  that are making things a little wonky.  My oldest is rocking along at Disney and awaiting our visit, and our middle one we don’t typically hear much from so we assume things are going well with her.

I’m really sleepy this morning.  I don’t know why.  I’m doing the same hours I kept at residency. I woke up pretty much on time but am yawning away this morning.  I meant to get out and walk this morning but it’s been raining.  So  I haven’t done that.  But I will keep trying.   I so need to lose the weight.

WEll,  I suppose I need to get started.  Hope everyone has a good rest of their week!  Happy Wednesday!



Went to see Tillie this morning. We talked about the residency and what all I had learned from that, and about my attempts to figure out something to do for work.  I just am praying that the situation will work itself out and that something will come of the situation that I can enjoy and learn more in.  The ideal one would be the MCIR job; next would be the UPress of MS job, next would be the children’s MHC job, and last would be teaching again. I suppose REALLY last would be doing nothing, but I really don’t want that.

I’ve discovered a problem with what I wanted to do for a summer project.   The books I wanted to fill out ask me to write a lot about my childhood and teenagerhood, and those were not fun times for me.  I suppose I could try and focus on the few positive things i remember, but I’m not sure I could  fill it all up with that.  I thought it asked more about thier childhoods, etc, but the focus is on me, and I’m not sure I’m ready to delve into all of that, particularly with my 14-year-old.  I’m just not there yet

Need to go pick up my youngest from church.  Hope you all have a good day!



So my youngest has gone to help with Vacation Bible School at our church and I am waiting to go to my dietician’s office at nine.  It’s going to be a bit of a hectic week–I have appointments almost every morning this week to take care of all the stuff that got put off while I was gone.  Dietician, Tillie, Holly, and my first appointment with a life coach, Debbie. We will see how that turns out.

I did lose weight over the residency–I was down to 226 this morning by my scales so that was nice.  We will see what their scales say.  I need to start walking this month and take advantage of the pretty weather we’re having. Hopefully no more rain in the forecast until the Delta can get rid of its floodwaters.  Food prices may climb later this year since they haven’t been able to get a crop in at all.

I plan to sit down after my dietician’s appointment and write more about my childhood.  I hope to be able to use it in a project for my Nonfiction Workshop class this fall.  I am going back to reading in the time that I soak in the bathtub so I can get in the readings for the Welty Symposium.  I will wait until I have another coupon in Barnes and Noble before I order the rest of them; one I already read for another class and one I went ahead and bought at the bookstore on the trip because they had up a faculty display.

I woke up on time and have had a good morning so far. I did well in rounding up my laundry after the trip so now I need to do Bob’s since he left it undone while I was gone.  But that shouldn’t be difficult.  I will just do his laundry on Monday from now on.  I feel really good–the restfulness of the trip to Columbus is lasting so far.  I don’t feel manic or depressed, just even keeled.  SO that is a good thing with me going into a hectic summer.

Happy Monday!  Hope everyone has a good week!



Home Safe!

Made it home safely this morning.  It was kind of a dicey drive-I got really sleepy on the way but no traffic so I made it fine.  I guess I didn’t sleep as good as I thought I did.  TUrned in my keys and whatnot and got it all taken care of before I left.

Now I am waiting for Bob and my youngest to get back home from church.  They should be coming in soon.  I already have laundry going so that is a good thing.  The house doesn’t look trashed so I am counting that as good.

So I still have assignments for class–I have to write two essays–one about the workshop and what I learned and another about the seminars.  I looked at the essays I wrote for last time I did this and that has helped.  I think I will have a lot to say this time around that I didn’t last time-I felt a lot better about the seminars this time than I did last time.  So that helps.

Well. Bob and she should  be on their way home.  Hope everyone has a great Sunday and a great week next week.  I’ll be back to my regular posting schedule until we go to the Carolinas on the 13th.



Last Day

Today we wind up the meetings etc. of our residency.  We have a final meal together after the last seminar I beleive so that should be fun.  I don’t have workshop this morning since I came in early and we met on Friday afternoon when the others did not.  SO I may go out and get breakfast and eat leisurely this morning.  Not sure yet.

I always enjoy coming here.  I’ll come back in the fall barring something going wrong this summer. I am kind of sad that the end is here but I will be glad to get home snd around familiar things again.  I just hope I don’t fall back into my usual patterns and try to sleep all day.

I so hope the nonprofit I want to work for  gets the grant at some point this summer.  i’d love to start work on this stuff as soon as possible.   I think I am well enough to take on a long project and will see how it goes.

I go home to a week full of appointments–I have somewhere to go every morning of the week–good thing that my youngest is going to be at VBS helping out with the kids.  She always enjoys that.  Then we vacay then we’re home and we vacay again then back home and then band camp starts far too soon.  THe summer is going to be really short but hopefully packed full of fun.

And I am looking forward to staying stable through it all. I’m going to get breakfast.  Hope everyone has a good day and weekend!