Trying to Work

Trying to start working again on my paper and homework.  I am at a standstill on my MCIR work–I need some information and it’s proving difficult to find; I’m having to call in the executive editor to try to look something up for me on a paid database.

I reached out to my MFA group saying “look I’m going bonkers help me” and have gotten a lot of encouragement on that front.  But I’m afraid it’s not enough.  I just don’t have it in me to keep going on with school right now.  I don’t want to withdraw because I’m on a razor thin schedule to finish now and I’m so close to finishing.  I’d just have to start all over with another class and I’m over halfway finished with this one.  I suppose I could just informally quit and take whatever grade I get. I just don’t know.

I don’t need to be whining.  Another of my MFA friends just lost her job for good–they just shut down who she was working for without warning.  She is panicked.  It’s just going to get worse on that front, I’m afraid.

I am trying to keep going.  But it looks so hard right now. i feel for my kids.  I would hate to just be starting out and having to face something like this that could derail their lives for good.  So far they are holding up.  But the longer this goes on the bleaker I feel it’s going to get for them.