Archive | March 2020

Out of Routine

I know I don’t usually post on weekends, but odd times call for odd measures.  Blogging about the pandemic is part of what is keeping me sane, so here goes.

I finally finished my paper last night!  I just sat down and ground it out. I don’t know that it’s very good or even what she was looking for, but its done and I’ll get whatever grade I deserve.  I consider finishing it a victory.  And I’ve got another week or two before I turn in another one so I have some breathing room. I still have to do the reading and commentary on that, but I will likely do that today or tomorrow.

I am working on a story about how the state mental hospitals are coping with the pandemic–communicating over email with the state agency and calling other mental health centers to see what they are doing.  I need to talk to some patients at some point on how they are coping.

My youngest and Bob went out practicing driving this morning and he said it perked her up a little bit.  Trying to do a few normal things so she is not completely stuck in the house.  We’re going to order pizza for lunch and Bob is about to go out and see if he can get supplies for hot roast beef sandwiches for dinner tonight–for some reason that sounds good to him right now.

I drew up a new grocery list and it is LONG for trying to save up for an extended quarantine.  We’ll see how it goes Monday after they’ve had a chance to restock from the weekend shoppers.

I hope we can survive this and still come out of it a free society. Some of the political rhetoric is making me wonder. No one realistically knows when the pandemic will end–I don’t believe the numbers coming out of China of decreased cases;  it just seems too convenient.  But we will continue to trust in God that he can use this for his glory. Love to all.

Another Day

It’s the end of the week and this quarantine is not going to get the best of me. I am hustling work as fast as I can.  I still am having trouble with my school work, which seems irrelevant in the face of this, but I am putting out contacts for other stories and hoping they get picked up on.

I hope to send off pictures for BPHope today. My friend Candy offered to come over and take some pictures of me for it with her camera-phone where she can email them to me and then I can send them on to my editor.  So I am waiting on her.

My youngest actually has had some school work to do so that is keeping her occupied.  She drew me a Charlie Brown picture with a Schultz quote–“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today, It is already tomorrow in Australia.”  So that was sweet.

I have my document open to work on my school paper so I suppose I will go do that for a while until Candy gets here.  Hope everyone has a good weekend and can manage to make it through another day.  One foot in front of the other.

 

Trying to Work

Trying to start working again on my paper and homework.  I am at a standstill on my MCIR work–I need some information and it’s proving difficult to find; I’m having to call in the executive editor to try to look something up for me on a paid database.

I reached out to my MFA group saying “look I’m going bonkers help me” and have gotten a lot of encouragement on that front.  But I’m afraid it’s not enough.  I just don’t have it in me to keep going on with school right now.  I don’t want to withdraw because I’m on a razor thin schedule to finish now and I’m so close to finishing.  I’d just have to start all over with another class and I’m over halfway finished with this one.  I suppose I could just informally quit and take whatever grade I get. I just don’t know.

I don’t need to be whining.  Another of my MFA friends just lost her job for good–they just shut down who she was working for without warning.  She is panicked.  It’s just going to get worse on that front, I’m afraid.

I am trying to keep going.  But it looks so hard right now. i feel for my kids.  I would hate to just be starting out and having to face something like this that could derail their lives for good.  So far they are holding up.  But the longer this goes on the bleaker I feel it’s going to get for them.

Weirdness

Everything is so weird.  I tried going to the dentist and they told me I wouldn’t be able to use nitrous oxide for my procedure.  I asked why not and they said state regulations with the virus.  So I rescheduled for May. Nothing is hurting, so I should be okay until then.  I am assuming my oldest is working or I think she would have called and said so.  But they close Saturday night after getting all their guests out.  So we will see what happens there.

I think I am slipping into a low-grade reactive depression.  I slept all morning after coming back from the dentist.  I still haven’t started on my paper or my classwork.  I just feel so weird and out of it.  My youngest is still isolating herself in her bedroom–I call her down occasionally and make her talk to me to make sure she’s okay.  But that’s not really unusual for her to do when she is off school.  She has her friends she talks to over the computer so she’s not totally isolated.

I think I am going to stop here.  We’re all more or less healthy so that is good.  I still don’t know what my sister is getting for her birthday–stores are shutting down here so I don’t really know where to shop for her.  We will see.

 

Wow!

What a difference a day and a good night’s sleep makes!  I’m not nearly as jumpy and frozen as I was yesterday–I can actually write about my feelings today and not scare myself.

My youngest is home for two weeks so I need to come up with some activities to do with her or she will just camp out on Youtube.  Her dance studio closed yesterday, which was a bummer for her; she was so looking forward to going.  But it’s for the best.

I actually generated some new leads for freelance work yesterday so I am hoping they pan out well. That was a good feeling.

I am glad my therapist is still open–I will go see her next week. I know it’s a risk for her but I’m going to need a good session before this is all over, I think. Other than that, I am going to pretty much shelter-in-place for here on out.  Bob is still going to work but I can’t help that–there’s not much way he can do his job from home and we’re going to need the money so that is that.

Nice to meet you if today is your first time on my site.  I hope you’ll come back for information, comfort, learning–whatever you can get out of hearing my story as I live it day by day.  God bless you in these scary times we are moving into right now.  Prayers go out for everyone suffering right now with all of this fear and panic going around.

So. . .

A lot has changed since I posted last.  I don’t do current events much on here.  But this one is a little big for me to ignore.  My youngest is home from school another two weeks due to coronavirus  My oldest, who woks at Disney World, still has work because they have guests who can’t leave due to a lack of flights back home and they have consolidated them to her resort. But it may not last much longer as they trickle out.  My middle one says her facility she is interning at is staying open until someone in the company gets sick with corona virus.  My husband’s company doesn’t seem to have a policy in place as of yet.  So we will see.

I am quietly scared.  I feel like I did after Hurricane Katrina–there is a lot of freefloating anxiety about life, the universe, and everything. I need to go to the grocery store and get some supplies, I need to go to WalMart and order contacts, and I need to change my doctor appointments this week, most likely.  Very much unnerved.

SO I need to start on that to do list as soon as possible.  Godspeed to everyone out there.

 

Memphis Bound

We’re still going on our trip unless I check right now and see that the Zoo and Graceland have closed for coronavirus reasons.  I am trying not to succumb to existential dread about all this.  I just want to live my life and not be so wrapped up in this. I like to never went to sleep last night; I couldn’t seem to turn off my brain.  FInally I think the meds turned it off for me.

So I will go check on our destinations then start getting ready. Hope everyone has a good weekend and stays safe.

Breathing Easier

I got my MCIR story done last night so I am breathing easier this morning.  Now I just need to work on my craft paper some today and finish it Sunday night.  Everybody I know is stroking out over coronavirus, but we have only one case in MS; it’s in Hattiesburg so far away from me.  So reading Facebook and Twitter is no longer relaxing as it once was.

My youngest had two friends over for fun last night–not sure when they went to sleep but they were sleepy this morning for breakfast.  We’re just trying to live our lives and be careful at the same time.  But the level of panic is stroke-inducing so we are trying to keep up with the news just enough to be informed but not eaten up with anxiety.  That’s the last thing I need is more anxiety.

So I need to start on my craft paper for school.  Hope everyone has a good day and pray that everyone is safe and stays that way.  Love to you all.

UPDATE: I misread–the craft paper isn’t due for another week.  I am so relieved.  I can relax on my vacation and do it next week,

 

I’m Really Scared

I’m not getting my writing done  before our Memphis trip and I’m really scared.  Now I can’t even bear to look at what I’ve already typed without getting anxious that I won’t finish it.  I’ve been in bed all morning trying not to think about it. Which of course means I’m REALLY not getting anything done and aking me panic all the more. I am so FRUSTRATED about this project.

Other things are going well, just the trying to write is making me angry. And my cursor has disappeared on my screen so I don’t even know how I’m typing this. Which is making me even angrier.  I;m scared if I listen to anything relaxing I’ll just go back to sleep.

I guess I need to abandon the article for MCIR for a while and concentrate on the craft paper that is due when we get back.  Maybe I will have better luck on that and that will make me feel better.

Hope everyone else is having a better Spring Break than me.  Pray I’ll be able to get all of this stuff DONE. And not have to worry about it any more.

 

So Now Bob is Sick

But he’s not catching so he goes in to work for a while then he comes home. SInus infection and bronchial infection.  Not sure if we’re going to take our Memphis trip or not. (sad face). We will see how it turns out. And my youngest is not going on her trip to my parents that my mom bugged me about for weeks.  She just called this morning and cancelled.  So we will see what happens there.  I think keeping my sister’s baby is too much for her. But so far my opinion has not been asked for so no worries there.

I am working on my story for MCIR but kind of afloat about what exactly I am writing.  SO I am transcribing my interview notes in an effort to jump start the writing.  Then I write on my craft paper for class.  Glad I got those other articles behind me so I can concentrate on these.  My first blog post goes up next week for BPHope’s blog and I am really excited about the opportunity.

I wish I didn’t feel so pressured right now. I need to run out and vote and I want to go back to sleep more than anything.  Not sure why I have the feeling that the sky is falling except that Bob is sick and that always makes me feel a bit unbalanced. I hope he does get better and we do get to go on our trip because he wants a break as well where he feels good  He doesn’t like being stuck in the house.

Well, I’m going to go out an try to vote since the lunch house is passing by.  Pray for all of us and for my young one to have a fun enjoyable spring break even with cancelled plans. Hope everyone has a good day.