Archive | September 2020

No Hot Take

I have no hot take on the presidential debate because I didn’t watch it. I decided to save my mental health and blood pressure and skip it. No armchair analysis from me. I hear that no one covered himself in glory, and that is all I need to know.

Had a good session with Tillie–told her I was having trouble writing a section of my thesis and she talked me though that time period very carefully and empathetically, letting me re-enact the feelings in her therapy office, as a safe place to let those feelings out. I held it together and didn’t cry, so that was good. Maybe I can approach this in print and not freak out. So we will see how the morning write goes.

Speaking of which, I need to get to work. Pray as I put all of this down in print. Hope everyone has a great day.

Sigh. . .

I’ve had a busy morning so far. Right before I was going to go take my daughter to school, I rubbed my eyes with my contacts in, then realized I couldn’t see clearly out of my right eye. So okay, I shifted the lens off my pupil when I rubbed them. So I start searching for it under my eyelid.

I can’t find it.

Then I have to leave taking my daughter to school. One eye I can see clearly through, one I can’t. So I’ve driven like that before so I did again. I finally got here there, dropped her off, then pulled into a parking space to use my vanity mirror in my car’s visor to look again.

I cant find it.

Probing under my eyelid with my finger, pulling down my lower lid, etc. I can’t find it. I get frustrated and shift my car back into gear and come home. I stop in the garage and probe in my my eye some more. Can’t find it.

Then I think, maybe I rubbed it out of my eye. It’s lying on the floor in my house. So I walk through the house and find it. Folded up in the floor where it fell out. I took out my other lens and went to wash my hair. I still haven’t put the lenses back in because my eyes hurts so much where I poked it s badly. I will get back to it though. Just not yet.

So how’s your day been so far?

I have Candy coming then I go see Tillie. The trip to Texas has been moved–they are having the service on Saturday, so we all are leaving on Thursday morning. Mom and Dad are going to pick me up on the way down, and we’ll come back right after the service. WE will see how it all goes.

Hope everyone else is managing well today. I am going to write, write, write today so as to be ready for next week, and it is proving hard to put down the way I want. We will see. Godspeed.

Aunt Doris

Got news last week that my Aunt Doris in Texas had fallen and broken her hip. We heard shortly after that that she was moving to hospice–she was not expected to survive surgery if they did do it due to her underlying COPD and need for an oxygen machine, which she had been wearing for years. Last night my cousins called my mom and told her she had passed away peacefully. She was almost eighty years years old by the way my mom could figure it. Doris was my daddy’s sister. So we are waiting for arrangments and to see whether or not we go to Texas for her funeral. Now out of seven kids, there’s just Daddy and his sister Charlotte in West Virginia and his twin sister Jerry who is still around home.

She lived in Ackerman most of my growing up years–she spent time in Texas and came back when the oil market crashed back in the 80s. Her children graduated school here in Mississippi but went back to Texas as soon as they could afterwards. She stayed here with her husband and I saw a lot of her in those years. When she first started to really go downhill, she moved back to Texas to be near her daughter and son, then when things got really bad, she moved in with her daughter. She’s been living with her for several years–I’ve lost count. At least she died with her family around her and having spent these last years with a large supportive family.

I’m going to do some writing so that if I do get off to Texas later in the week I will have all the loose ends tied up. So I will move on and wish everyone a happy Monday. Godspeed.

WOW! MSU over LSU!

Gotta get my fan feelings out–I’m so proud of our guys at MSU beating LSU 44-34 yesterday afternoon. We watched, listened on the radio, checked the scores during dinner, then listened to the end of it on the way home from my birthday dinner. Couldn’t have asked for a more fun “birthday” present from my Bulldogs!

My middle one came and we had a good visit–she bought me two books that I’m sure she thought would appeal to my quirky side–one was a collections of anecdotes from people who work in public libraries, and the other was scientific explanations for highly improbable phenomena. So I will enjoy reading them when I get through reading for my thesis.

I am sucking in my stomach and going to start on those uncomfortable parts of my thesis in college today. If I don’t I’m going to blow the afternoon sleeping, and I don’t want to do that. It’s going to be weird, but I need to do it as soon as I can and sit with it for a while and see what needs revising. So let me get to that. Hope everyone is safe from the virus and is going well. Godspeed.

Four Overtimes

That’s what it took for Brandon to beat Gulfport last night. Gosh, it was a long game. And very tiring, too. But kind of fun in it’s own way. How many ways can a football team shoot itself in the foot and still win?

Waiting on my middle one to come in for lunch. Not sure what all we are going to do after that except we are going to Table 100 for dinner tonight. So that’s a good thing.

I’m doing pretty well. I’ve gotten everything done this week I intended. I still need to work ahead on my thesis–next week I turn in brand new material and the week after that I have to do a bunch of revised material that I haven’t completed yet. So that will make things a little dicey, I think next week. I will work on it as I can this weekend and at the first of the week. I also have reading to do so I need to get on that.

I have generally managed well this month. No big lapses in my work or my house stuff. I really feel like I could go back to sleep but I know not to–I don’t know when I will have to open the house for the middle one.

I am gong to get a big glass of orange juice and try to wake up the rest of the way.. Hope everyone is having a good day. Stay safe from the virus. Love to all.

Another Place to Write

I turned in an application for a website that writes about all kinds of medical topics that is looking for a mental health writer. SO I sent in my cover letter and resume to see if they would be interested in working with me. WE will see what happens.

Not much is going on right now. My youngest is marching in the band show tonight at the game so we will go to that. My middle one comes down this Saturday to visit for my birthday so I will enjoy that. She is having a hard time with the online classes this semester-they are classes that really need to be in-person so they can do experiments and all.

I am glad to be feeling as well as I am with the world just burning up around us. Soon the election will at least be over and maybe there will be a break in the vitriol everyone is spitting out. I can hope.

I need to start laundry, then start back on my thesis, either reading or writing. Not sure which I will do.

I guess I go ahead and start it all off. Hope everyone is staying safe from the virus and with all the natural phenomena going on. Love to all.

Thesis Work

Yesterday I halfway approached the difficult parts of my college experience that I had with bipolar that I haven’t ever talked about yet. I blocked it in–found places where I would expand and tell those stories and wrote down shorthand titles for the stories that need to go into that spot. So I at least know where it’s all going to go now. And I can attack sections and have a plan for what all I am writing,

I came back with good reports on the two chapters I tuned in for this week–she’s writing more encouraging notes about things I’m doing right rather than notes where ideas need work on these chapters. Of course she had seen them before and I had improved them from that point. I’m still ahead on my weekly assignments–the new pieces I still need to do aren’t due to be turned in for a little while, so I have time.

I wish I had someone to talk shop with. The girl I’m friendly with has had a personal crisis and is not sure if she’s going to be able to work on her thesis this semester so I don’t want to bring it up with her. And the other girl I know is working on thesis with Ellen Ann I just don’t know very well. So I just don’t know who to toss ideas around with.

I so want to go back to sleep. I didn’t sleep solid last night or the night before that. I had a lot of weird dreams all coming out this material I’m writing on–about my mom and dad and being at home. It hasn’t helped me solve any narrative problems or altered how I go about reacting to mom and dad. So I’m not sure what they’re all about.

I guess I will wind up writing here and move to the thesis document before lunch. I may just reread it, but I can get tat little bit done in te time before lunch. Hope everyone is staying safe from the virus. Thanks so much for reading!

My GIFT!

Bob was so sweet for this milestone birthday and got me a lovely ring! It’s a little tight, but it won’t fall off my finger for sure. I’m going to try to wear it all the time, but it was too tight to go on this morning so I will try again later. My youngest got my a Snoopy pillow to go in my office. So that will be fun!

We’re going to do more celebrating this weekend when my middle one comes home to visit this weekend. We will have so much fun!

Now I really need to start writing on some touchy stuff in my thesis So that will be hard to work on. We’ll see what we can come up with this morning in my writing session.

So I suppose I need to get started. We will see what we come up with this morning. Hope everyone has a good day and stays safe from the virus. Godspeed.

Happy Birthday to ME!

THe big 5-0 is here! And I could not be happier with my life at this moment. Candy and Christy came over to share birthday cake and brought me a bunch of goodies to snack on. (I will share. I’m not that selfish,) Then I went and got my hair shaped up a bit more and Holly took me out to eat at Fernando’s.

We’re going out to eat as a family Saturday night when my middle one can come join us. I have enjoyed my day terrifically so far and am going to end it out doing some more writing on my thesis, I think.

I got everything turned in for my thesis work this week so I will be waiting to see what Ellen Ann has to say tomorrow. Next week I send in new material and see how that goes. I am excited about it. I can’t believe I never wrote about this period before. It’s been tough to go into but fairly easy to write. So we will see how this afternoon goes.

I guess I will go ahead and wind up. I’m standing tall and feeling good today. May it continue to be so. Hope everyone else has a great day as well!

Tire Pressure

My tire pressure light came back on so I went back to the tire place and they said this time all my tires were a bit low. They put it down to the change in weather–couldn’t find any leaks of any kind. So at least they didn’t charge me for looking. I was glad of that.

I read some last night and need to do my research note for tomorrow. I think i know what way I will go with it so that is nice to know, I still need to revise last week’s essays so if I can stay awake, I will do it this morning.

Last day of my forties. I feel kind of retrospective. I started my forties with rollerskating, did my degree work, and ended them with short grey hair. That’s all that I’ll write about in Rollerskating Over Forty should the book ever appear. I am looking forward to locking down Growing Up Mental this year then starting on A Year Without Writing. I need to reread my journal from that time so I can line out chapters (either themed together or just month-by-month). Not sure which organizing principle I will use.

It’s realy nice and chilly outside today with the wind, If we didn’t have the winds, I think it would be warmer. But that’s okay. Right time of year for the weather to change.

I will be glad when either life gets back to normal or we all get used to the way it is and it feels normal. This unsettled feeling all the time is unnerving.

I guess I will start on my research note and the rest of my w4iting I hope everyone has a good first day of fall and enjoys the weather change. Godspeed,