Archive | January 2021

Sunday Service

Had a wonderful Sunday service today. We saw nine people be baptized, and that was a joyous time as always. Adults down to five-year-olds. Just wonderful.

Today is the last day of the fasting time, and I feel like tomorrow I can start reintroducing music in my life. I’m going to start with gospel music then move to nature music. Then back into instrumental music. I don’t want to listen to words as much as just plain sounds. I want to listen intentionally instead of just music to fill the air. So that will be what I start doing tomorrow.

I did a lot of revision on the end of my thesis yesterday and got the page count back down to 300. So I am going to do a short epilogue to keep the word count under control. So I will go ahead and start work on that while doing the few line edits she is still giving me in a few places. I will continue to work through the other sections as I have them planned.

And I need to start reading the books I don’t have long to do that now–only a month. So sudden. I can’t good off any more. I’ve got to kick it into gear.

My middle one is coming down as we speak to get here so we can take her out to lunch and then go to my youngest’s dance event. So we will have a busy day. I guess I will need to get started on it.

Hope everyone is staying safe from the virus. Godspeed.

Aimless Day

We are just chilling out today. We went out driving today just because we wanted to get out of the house. But we haven’t done muh. Bob is feeling really bad with his allergies today. My youngest one is doing well, getting ready for her dance event tomorrow. Our middle one is coming down to see her dance tomorrow so that will be good. We will be able to take her to lunch tomorrow and that will be nice.

We will be at church tomorrow in person for the first time in a long while for me. Bob went last week while I was sick. But I’m better now so we will all go to Sunday School and church then come home and take my middle one out to eat.

I am really wrestling with some things that I’m not quite ready to talk about. They have to do with purpose in life and all that sort of thing. Pray for me as I continue to seek God and learn what he would have me do at this juncture. I would appreciate it. My bipolar disorder interacts with what I am thinking and I need some guidance to what’s my thinking and what is God saying.

I guess I will go and watch my church devotion for the day and then settle back in to working on my thesis. Wish everyone a good day. Stay safe from the virua. Godspeed.

A Little Scared

It’s sunny here but cold. Very cold outside this morning when I took my youngest to school.

I’m kind of dreading next month. February is when I usually start having a lot of trouble with my bipolar. I don’t want to because I am trying to help my middle one recover and trying to plan a wedding for my oldest and trying to write my thesis, But all those heavy responsibilities may bring something on. I just don’t know. I’m hoping having been able to cope with all of this that’s gone on that I’ll better be able to cope from now on. But there’s no promise of that. So if you all would think of me and pray through the next few months I would greatly appreciate it.

Not sure how I’m going to spend today. I’m going to try to work on my thesis this morning then pick up with laundry this afternoon. I need to pick up some medicine today. Slow day I think.

I’m going to go do my church’s devotion time and then get to work. Hope everyone has a good day and stays safe from the virus.

Musings

I saw Dr. Bishop yesterday and there wasn’t much he could offer me about my middle one but his sympathy. He did tell me who trained his service dog for his office and I asked if he would get me the man’s name and I would try to contact him for training a dog for my middle one. So we will see what comes of that.

I have been somewhat busy this morning reviewing my thesis and seeing if there is anything to this new section I will be turning in. I finally got my books in yesterday so I hope to start reading them tonight. I think I will start with the one I have already read, Kay Redfield Jamison’s AN Unquiet Mind. I am just not into working this semester. I don’t know why. Maybe I’ve lost my sense of mission? Maybe I feel that I’m not qualified to write this story since I obviously messed up so badly with helping my daughter.

I also don’t know what else I would want to do. I don’t want to give up. I have worked too long and wirtten too much and seen how what I write impacts people to do that. So that is really not an option.

ANyway. I need to answer an email for topics for BPHope. Hope everyone is staying safe. Godspeed.

A JOB!

My middle one got a job offer from Indiana yesterday! She says she is going to take it–she likes the idea of what kind of work she’ll be doing for them and the people she has dealt with so far. SO she is very happy right now. We are too–it’s another long way away from us, but we were prepared for that. I just hope she is stable enough to go somewhere where she doesn’t know anyone and work and live alone. Maybe she can try another dog when she gets there. Or maybe she can look at it as a fresh start–leaving ghosts behind.

I go see Dr. Bishop this morning; I’ll have a lot to tell him about. I saw him the day before I tested positive for COVID. So yeah–a lot to tell him.

My youngest one took the initiative and went online to find a dress she wanted to wear for my oldest’s wedding. I like the look of it too–a very cute and fun look since she is so young. So I need to order it today. I’m glad she is excited to be involved. It’s not very far away now–about three months. Still a lot to do.

I am going to run and listen to today’s devotion from church and then get ready to go to my appointment. Hope everyone is doing well. Godspeed.

Buying

So I did go shopping for dresses and thought I’d found the perfect one–then looked one more place and found the really perfect one. I couldn’t try them on there (COVID policy) so I brought them home and the first one I had liked looked perfect, all right–perfectly horrible. I don’t know what happened between the hanger and it going on my body, but it didn’t look good at all. The second one was just as pretty as I thought it would be but had some tightness in it you couldn’t see, but I could feel. So now I’m going to start doing jumping jacks around the house every day to lose a few pounds. SO now that is nailed down,

My youngest’s school is closed the next few days, then they go alphabetically every other day to school until February 8. So they have seen something they don’t like in the COVID numbers.

My friend Jo called me yesterday–I hadn’t talked to her since we had COVID. She wanted to chat and catch up We’ve been close for a long time, but with what all has gone on we just haven’t talked. So I told her about my middle one. She was so shocked and upset. I apologized for ruining her day. I made me sad all over again. Sad that I had not been more watchful and aware, sad for her feelings during all that time, sad about all of it.

Well, I’m going to work on my thesis some more before I turn it in. Hope everyone can havea good day.

Over It Again

I think I am finally rid of the stomach stuff again. I hope so. I don’t want this to become a habit.

Just heard that the place I want to buy my dresses for the wedding preparations is looking at going out of business. I have two gift cards to there so I need to use them as soon as possible. I think I will go out today and just see what they have. And try to get a straight answer on when they might be shutting down. If it’s after April, I may wait until they get more of their spring wardrobe in.

I am going to try to stay awake today this morning and write on my thesis. I finally thought of something to add to part of what I am turning in this time right when I went to bed last night and I can’t imagine why I didn’t include it earlier. So that will be this morning’s job and shopping this afternoon.

Well, that’s all for now. Hope everyone has a good day. Stay safe from the virus. Get the vaccine! Godspeed.

Just Finished Church

I didn’t go to church today; I still feel weak since I haven’t really had solid food for several days. But I’m supposed to get soft veggies for lunch and I’m looking forward to that. I just listened in on Zoom for Sunday School and livestream for church. Everything was good and strengthened my spirit.

Back into routine tomorrow. Hopefully my recovery will hold. If I do this again soon, I’m going to get my stomach checked out. No reason for me to be sick like this. I’m not around anybody to catch the stomach bug from or anything like that. I did wonder the other day if God meant for me to be on a liquid-only fast and since I didn’t do it is getting it done this way. But I felt no move of God to do any kind of food-related fast. I did feel the prompting for a music fast. SO I don’t know.

After I finish here I’m going to go listen to this morning’s early devotion and then Bob will probably be home. We’ll watch TV and I will see one more time if any major changes need to be made in my manuscript for this week afterwards. Pray for me to have guidance.

Everyone else is doing well. My middle one had two interviews last week for jobs after she graduates so she is hoping everything will turn out for one or the other of them. She’s still in Psycamore; I hope she is learning and not being stubborn about her beliefs about bipolar.

I guess I will wind up and wait on Bob. Hope everyone has a good day. Stay safe. Godspeed.

Trying to Get Better

I threw up some more after I wrote yesterday and then tried to stay in bed as much as possible. I got a bit of energy late in the afternoon to do Bob’s laundry so that was good. Then my middle one called with great news–that I can’t talk about yet. 😦 Suffice to say it chased all my blues away.

So today we are just going to stay around the house I think. My youngest is at flag guard practice and has a birthday party this afternoon, but me and Bob are going to be less active. I feel pretty weak, still so I likely won’t go out for lunch. I did eat a banana for breakfast so we will see how that does.

I hope I get in my books soon. I need to start reading. I think I will try to go back to sleep after I finish checking everything on my computer. I am hopefully going to keep my medications down this morning.

Hope everyone else is doing well and having a good start to the day. Godspeed.

Unexpected

I’ve been chugging along today and at 9:30 started to have a stomachache. Then I started throwing up over and over and over. I finally kept down some pepto tablets well enough to come in here and type. Out of the blue. I don’t know what’s going on, and my doctor is closed on Friday. So all I know to do is to drink fluids and hope it will settle down.

And I finally just now felt like I was participating in life again after all the stress of the holidays. I don’t know what is going on. I would wonder if I was pregnant again, but all that has been cleaned out. I just don’t know.

I don’t know what I’m going to do for the rest of the day. I feel too weak to do much of anything. I guess I will fool around on the computer in between taking naps. Writing just this little bit had already worn me out on thinking. Hope everyone is having a better day than me.