Archive | August 2021

Busy Day

Have had a busy day. Candy and Christy came and we visited while they cleaned. They wanted to know about the concert and how it went, so we had a good time talking about that. Then I went to see Holly and get my hair trimmed and we had a good visit as well. Now that I am not coloring my hair anymore, I don’t see her as often. She has a daughter getting married and a son looking for part-time work so I told her to have him go by and see Robert, Bob’s dad, and see if he could get on at the warehouse since they need someone. She said she would see what she could do.

Then I went to lunch with my friend Carol. She has been in PR for years so we talked a lot of shop and different things. We stayed there two hours, just really talking about all kinds of things. She talked about how she wanted to be like me and blog but couldn’t get herself to sit down and actually do it because she was afraid of comments and criticism. I told her I knew how she felt–the same kinds of issues were holding up my own writing outside of the blog. So we commiserated a bit about that.

In a bit I go back to the dentist. I went last Thursday, and they said my appointment was the next day, which I completely forgot about the next day. So hopefully today is the final day to go get it done. I am tired of all the run around.

Then I go to the grocery store and buy up through Thursday since our meal kit service isn’t delivering this week. Still more busy. I am also working on laundry and getting it ready to pack this week to go see our middle child this weekend. Long rides ahead.

But I am holding up well. The weather is prettier today and not such a mess to go out in. Can’t believe it’s just about September already. My 51st birthday is coming up. And my Mom’s 73rd. So quick between year to year now. I guess I will windup. Pray for Louisiana. Godspeed.

Hurricane Ida

Sorry so late in posting, but we just got internet back around here and this is the first chance I’ve had to log on.

It’s been a weird day. Since we didn’t have internet, I couldn’t do any computer work so I did some laundry, cooked supper, and spent much of the rest of the day lying down. I didn’t know what the roads were like around our neighborhood, but the news had warned us not to be out unless we had to today. And we had rain most of the day. The worst of it came in the night last night–we have a lot of trees down around the area and our backyard is full of branches. Today has just been steady, at times gusty, rain showers. But it has cleared out of here and should be up around Memphis by now.

It’s probably best that we didn’t have internet or TV or I would have been doomscrolling news and weather all day which would have done nothing but work me up into an anxious fit. So I am going to continue to avoid the news, etc. for a few days so I can be sure I have my feet on the ground before getting into that. I’m going to have to go grocery shopping for the week since our meal delivery service is not coming this week–they come from Texas to here and it is likely to messy to try to cross the Southeast right now. So we will see what happens.

I guess that is enough of an update to give right now. I am managing fine since I have been incommunicando all day. my youngest stayed home from school today but she will go back tomorrow. I am going to try to get back to work t9morrow now that I’ve finally heard from a source for my MCIR story. So pray for all of the folks down here who are really suffering tonight and have had their lives changed forever. Godspeed.

Harry Connick, Jr. Concert

My friend and I had a wonderful time at the concert last night! We had gotten great seats on the floor and had the best view of him and everyone in the band we could have asked for at the price we paid :). He had fun joking around with the audience–calling one girl out for her “laser” on her phone that shone right in his eyes as she was filming one of the songs. He said “Film the whole show and put it on Facebook, I don’t care–but turn off that light!” He was glad to see how many people came out; where we were was full and there were a lot of people in the elevated areas but there were big bare spots too. So it wasn’t a sell-out but at least they let it go on with masking and such.

He played a lot of standards–Cole Porter, jazz standards, blues standards–I don’t remember all the names. He messed around with the band a lot, but in a way that showed he considers them his partners instead of his backups. He gave his testimony, too–he played “Because he Lives” and “How Great Thou Art” and talked about being a Christian and how his faith got him through the lockdowns. He said he had actually recorded an album of gospel songs during it all by himself in his home studio, not even a sound engineer. So I want that for my birthday. 🙂

So now we are waiting for Hurricane Ida to see if she knocks out the power or not; they say it came on land just under a Category 5 storm in south Louisiana. It’s supposed to curve and cut right through Mississippi and take in the upper corner of Alabama. High winds but a tight rotation–not nearly as spread out as Katrina. We will see what happens.

Hold on tight, those of us in Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama. We’ll make it. Godspeed, everyone.

Frustration II

Go to Sam’s Club today. Bob is the only one who enjoys Sam’s. Pick out all kinds of things, loading a cart. Wait in line or 45 minutes as the checkouts are that backed up. The scan machine won’t take our card. Sent out of line to customer service–they revalidate the card but won’t check us out, telling us to go back to the back of the lines, which stretch from the front of the store to the rear of the store because a) it’s Saturday and b) there’s a hurricane coming. Bob left the full cart in front of customer service and told them they could restock it.

And I still can’t get into my online banking. Have to try around 4:30 this afternoon.

But today is finally the day of the Harry Connick Jr. concert. I am looking forward to that tonight. The weather should hold off until Sunday afternoon, so I can[t see any reason for them to cancel it. I am hoping to have a good time. I need one.

Brain is still in a loop. I am hoping having a good time will break it. Hope everyone can be safe. Godspeed.

Frustration

I have had the most frustrating day. Every situation I encountered today required enormous amounts of restraint and patience. I have been trying to pay an online invoice for the better of two hours. Three calls to my bank, endless re-typing and establishment of new passwords, creation of an online baking account, inability after all of that to not even actually get the invoice paid–so frustrating. Got behind a woman cat the grocery store who was buying easily $400+worth of groceries–two carts full–and it takes four tries for the system to take her debit card. I thought all these machines were supposed to make life easier. Apparently not.

I am in serious doldrums. My brain keeps chanting ” No. I don’t care. No. I don’t care. No. I don’t care” on infinite loop. I don’t care about anything but getting in the bed and sleeping. I am still doing things–forcing myself to do things–but nothing matters anymore. I am so tempted to stop my meds because apparently they aren’t doing me any good. Maybe they are. Maybe I would be suicidal now without them. But I have the feeling that’s coming soon.

I need to go check on dinner. Be safe, everyone.

COVID

Well, it has finally hit my family. I have a first cousin up in northeastern Mississippi, DeSoto County, who went to the hospital by ambulance yesterday. He was having severe trouble breathing–he has COVID pneumonia in both lungs. So that is where he is. He’s three years younger than me and just turned forty-eight. I don’t know if he was vaccinated or not–he is part of the family we lost touch with after my grandmother died. His father died when I was pregnant with my oldest and his mother remarried and they just recently lost that man, too. I don’t know what it would do to her to lose her only child, too. I hope he pulls through.

I am slogging around. I need to do Bob’s laundry so it will be taken care of. I also go to seat my crown ONE MORE TIME. Hopefully they got it right this time. I’m also waiting on my friend Kim to come by and pick up her ticket to the concert Saturday. She had a Bible study this morning and should come by before I have to leave. At least I hope so. So we will see how that goes.

I feel a bit better than yesterday. Not much, but a bit. I am still tired but not as much. I don’t think I will go to sleep again today. So that is a plus. I’m still not using my time well. I just kind of go through the day like a zombie. But I don’t much know what I can do about that. I will just stay home and try not to get sick. Hope everyone else can stay safe from the virus. Godspeed to all.

Sleeping In

I woke up long enough to tell my youngest and Bob bye this morning, then fell back asleep, got up at 9:15 and ate breakfast and checked messages, and then went back to bed until noon. I got out and got the ticket from Anita, ate a very good Fannin Mart lunch with Bob, made a hair appointment, drove to the school to drop off a form, and just now got home. And i am tired enough to go back to bed But I need to do laundry and go grocery shopping so I will hold off until after that.

I talked to Bob last night about my rage symptoms, and he said he wasn’t surprised to hear it. He said that he knew my metal state took a hit once my oldest’s family was having trouble finding housing. But he hoped I got better now that they were settled in. He didn’t suggest going to the hospital since I told him it was over with. So that was good. And it was good to really get it off my chest with Tillie and Bob; I felt better after talking about it.

But i am still so tired. Why can’t I feel better? I try to eat right, I try to do what all I’m supposed to do, I take my meds, but I just never feel good. Maybe it’s just getting older. I don’t know.

Everyone be careful of the virus. Godspeed.

Rage

I talked to Tillie about some rage obsessions that had come on me while my oldest and her family were going through the whole homebuying-process/fiasco. I fell into one while they were flailing around trying to find something, anything they could get approved for in July, and another one while the banks were taking so much time to process the checks we sent down.

They were very similar to the rage obsessions that had put me in the hospital last year at the end of my manic phase last year, when I finally felt it spiraling out of control. These don’t feel manic; I don’t feel manic, but Tillie says they sound like a manic symptom to her. She wants me to talk about them with Bob to see if he has noticed anything else strange lately. She said they seem to be born out of frustration and helplessness for me–but that anger is always a covering for fear. So.

I’m not doing it anymore, but it seems to be a pattern for me and for characters in my fiction–that they can solve their problems through suicide or homicide or threatening either. Either threat gets attention paid to the problem at hand.

Anyway.

Today has been pretty good–I’ve just seen Candy and Christy this morning, then gone and seen Tillie and then taken Bob to get his car at lunch and he took me out to pizza since we were on that end of town. I’ve been really busy, and I can feel it. I’m very tired and out of sorts. I think I am going to lie down for a bit.

Hope everyone can be safe and careful with the virus. Godspeed.

Baby Talk

I got to hear a few coos and ooos from my grandson while my oldest was talking to me this afternoon. Much of it was fussies, though, because she had to put him down to do dishes. But she said he got his shots today and had done well with them. He’s gained a full pound from his birth weight so I thought that was good.

I’ve actually tried doing some work, but one guy is not calling me back–I think I am going to email my editor to make sure I have the right number for him. So we will see if we get any information.

I’m cutting corners tonight for dinner since I haven’t had time to go out and shop. So we will see how that goes.

The main thing I’ve had to do today is figure out who I’m going to the concert with this weekend. My friend Anita messaged me that her husband was not comfortable with her going. So I found another friend, Kim, who wanted to go and I am waiting on Anita to tell me where she wants to meet tomorrow to give me the ticket and I give her the money for it. I’ve already set up a time to meet Kim.

I am crossing fingers and toes that they don’t cancel it–I feel safe since it seems that almost no one who had it then got vaccinated are relapsing. I’m not sure anyone has done a lot of data-crunching on that, but I’m not hearing anything about that population getting sick.

I’ve been so sleepy today. I slept in but it wasn’t a very good or deep sleep this morning. I keep having dreams about Bob getting mad at me about not doing something correctly. that I can’t do whatever needs to be done in the right way. I can always bring it up to Tillie tomorrow. We will see if anything comes of it.

I guess I will run and start dinner cooking. I hope everyone is being careful about the virus and staying safe. Godspeed.

Trying To Stay Awake

I went to Sunday School and church again and basically dozed through them. Bob offered to go out and get Cokes for lunch when he went to get my youngest one’s gas so that was good. I still could lay down and go to sleep.

My middle one is managing after her sinus surgery and plans to go back to work tomorrow. She sounds so positive about this new job–they’ve already let her loose in a lab making someone else’s formulation to see how well she did and she enjoyed that. So that excited her.

Going to get back in the saddle tomorrow and make ONE phone call relevant to my story. Hopefully I can reach someone and get the ball rolling on it.

I am going to do another edit on my book. I’m contracting with a girl from NYC that I have followed on Twitter for a long time–she advertised that she had space for one memoir project in September, so I contacted her. I need to see how someone with that publishing mindset that doesn’t already know my story reacts to it. I send it on September 1st and she takes a month working it over from a macro point of view–structure, appeal, tone, etc.–big-picture concepts. She says she doesn’t do line edits and that’s fine. I may still have work to do on it that I don’t know about. So we will see.

Still a whole week and a half left in August. This Saturday I go to the Harry Connick Jr. concert unless they cancel it. I think if they were going to cancel it, they would have already. I can’t see the venue actually being crowded for this–he is kind of a niche musician and I don’t see the place selling out for him.

I’m going to go get another drink and try to stay awake more. Godspeed, everyone.