Bad Mood

I am in a really bad mood today.

I didn’t go to sleep on time last night, but I’m not sure if that is all of why I feel so bad. It’s part of it, because I feel hungry, sleepy, thirsty, fat, and stupid. I can do something about some of those–I have a glass of ice water I am sipping on, I will fix lunch in a bit, and I can take a nap this afternoon, but the rest is a mystery. I just don’t feel good at all.

We won our game last night, so that was good. My youngest one’s boyfriend came over and that was fine. Dinner was a mess because I had a Blue Apron recipe that was not tasty or appetizing-looking, so we threw it out after a few bites and ordered pizza. So that was embarrassing to me. But we made it. I am going to cook jambalaya for lunch and pork cutlets tonight. So that is taken care of. But I just want to eat and collapse into bed. So I suppose I will this afternoon.

Tomorrow I will start on my new MCIR stories and see what I can find out about the edits my editor wants me to do. I am going to try to push through this bad mood and hopefully it will be better tomorrow. Hopefully I can feel better after lunch.

Hope the rest of you are doing better. I hope to be feeling better soon. Godspeed to all.


Still Recovering

Slept last night without the daily painkiller and did pretty well–my back seems tender this morning but it’s not nearly as bad as it was. So I feel good about that.

Got back some edits from my editor at MCIR on my telehealth story so I will be working my way through those Monday. I made two preliminary phone calls to those and sent an email so I should have some of the answers early next week. I will also start on the others next week so we will see how that goes.

I am in a good mood. It’s amazing what happens when you just hurt constantly then get better. So I am looking forward to having the youngest one’s boyfriend over tonight. He really seems like a nice kid and is really sweet to our daughter. He’s always doing small things for her like bringing her a bite of breakfast at school and walking her to and from class. I’m happy for her.

I went off of Klonopin since I forgot to grab it while I was packing for Florida and I have felt so much better since I did. I am not so sleepy during the day and able to get so much more done. I haven’t had any anxiety also so that has been nice as well. Maybe I have finally learned how to handle my anxiety with prayer. I hope so because I spent all summer being so anxious and I don’t want to go through that again ever.

I guess I will leave it at that. Hope everyone has a good weekend. Love to all.


Well, my back is steadily improving. I’ve been able to leave off my muscle relaxers since lunchtime yesterday–I took my once-a-day painkiller last night but I’m not sure I’ll keep needing it; I think I’ll trying doing without it tonight and see how I do. But I did a lot of moving around yesterday and didn’t have trouble so I feel good about my recovery. I still don’t know definitively what went wrong but I will take feeling better any day.

We are hosting the youngest one’s boyfriend tomorrow–I told Bob that he would probably want her to go out Saturday so we just pre-emptively asked him over for supper and to watch the game with us. We will see how that goes.

I am listening to “Hamilton” again–it just gives me a lift to do so every once in a while. I like to lip-sync to it in the privacy of my home like I used to do with the “Phantom of the Opera”. What I love about both soundtracks is that I discover something new about each every time I listen to them. That’s a sign of a great story.

I finally finished my story on telehealth and turned it in yesterday afternoon. I am taking a break this weekend and will start on the Sean Hunt story Monday calling people in Ackerman. I really am still nervous about this story but feel like it needs to come out and people see what is going on in the Sheriff’s Office. I just don’t want anything to rebound of my mom and dad. They can’t pick up and leave like Kim did. So we will see what develops.

I guess I will wind up for now. Hope everyone has a good weekend. Godspeed.

CT Scan Normal

That was the call I got yesterday afternoon from my doctor. He said I might have passed the stone already or there might not have been one at all. But my pain has eased considerably. I slept good last night and have done pretty good with my back this morning. So hopefully I can get off of the pain killers and see if the pain has gone for good. I certainly hope so.

My interview seemed to have gone well yesterday–we talked for about 30 minutes. I so hope I get the job. They said it might be a few weeks before they get back in touch with me so we will see.

My mood is much better now that I am not hurting constantly. Hopefully I can work this morning and get everything I have let go in the past week completed. I will start phone calls on my stories next week so hopefully I can get something rolling.

My middle one is completing cross-training in Tennessee this week–her company has three locations; she works in Indiana and will also go to rural New York State for her next cross-training. I hope she can manage this well. I always have a low level of worry going with her and her condition. I know it doesn’t help anyone for me to do that. But I am always thinking about her and how she’s doing.

I guess that’s all I have going on. Please continue praying for me that this pain issue will resolve itself and I won’t have to worry about it any more. Everyone continue to stay safe from the virus. Godspeed.

Awful Night

I had a really bad night. I couldn’t get comfortable any kind of way. I would be just about to sleep and move and my back would hurt so bad that I spasmed and woke back up again. I did this over and over. I finally just got up at 2 a.m. and lay down on my couch in my office trying to get some support on my back so I could rest. I went in to the outpatient department of the hospital and they did the CT scan; hopefully they will send it to Dr. Morris soon and we can find out what we are dealing with.

I don’t know how I’ll be able to concentrate on doing anything today. I have that job interview at 2 p.m. over Zoom and I hope that goes well. I still really feel like I need a job like this because I need something to do. I feel a need to go out and learn to interact with people again and hold down a job to prove that I can do it. I’m not just going to sit around wishing my kids were closer to home.

I think I might go lie down again. I am so uncomfortable. I wish I would get better. I hope everyone has a good downslope to the weekend. I’ll see what I can do. Godspeed.

Back Pain II

So I wound up in the ER yesterday because I got to thinking that I might be trying to pass a kidney stone. But their CT scanner was down so I didn’t get anything definitive. I went to my regular doctor this morning since it hasn’t really let up a lot, and they found out it was working now and I could go at 8 a.m. tomorrow morning. My doctor said they would let me know about my repeated blood tests and urinalysis. So I am just waiting to do that tomorrow.

I don’t really feel like typing much else so I am going to close with that. Please pray that i pass the stone or they find whatever else is wrong. GOdspeed.

Back Pain

My back came back to hurt me last night. It’s still hurting now. I hope I can sit long enough to finish my story today. It’s been frustrating seeing how to word it all. I am so tired from not sleeping last night. I just wish my back would ease up. I’m not doing any lifting and bending so I don’t understand what made it hurt again. I am having trouble concentrating on anything else.

I need to o to the grocery store for some items and will see how it goes. I don’t have much to get but what we are out of we do need–stuff for my youngest’s lunchbox, etc. Bob won’t be in for lunch since they are doing inventory at his office today. And tomorrow is end-of-month so he will be tied up then too. But at least the year will be closed out for them and maybe they can look forward to a better year next year.

I can’t hardly believe that the year 2021 is almost gone. In some ways, it has drug by, but in others time has flown. The start of the pandemic is still very fresh on everyone’s mind, and it’s hard to believe that we’re still in it even though it doesn’t seem quite as bad as it did at the first. At least now we have shots and some treatment protocols that help those who are caught in time before it gets really bad.

I have my interview day after tomorrow at 2 p.m. I am a bit nervous–I want this job and hope it pans out that they offer it to me. If not, I have others I have applied for but they are all full-time. We will see.

I guess I will get to work. I have other stories to work on and get started with. One is Sean Hunt again; the other is the effect of COVID on disabled communities. We will see what we can find out.

Hope everyone has a good start to their week. My oldest has her first day off since she went back to work on Tuesday so I may talk to her and see how she is doing. I know she said her back was hurting after going so long without doing the lifting she has to do with her job. I hope that eases up soon. Godspeed all.


So good to be back in church today! I have missed it so much. I’d like to go back tonight but will see how Bob is feeling before I go. He coughed and coughed this morning so I recommended that he stay home. He had a bad night getting up over and over–I think his stomach was upset still; he complained that dinner had not sat will with him before I went to bed. Hopefully him and my youngest can start feeling better today.

We will see what we get done today. I will put dinner in the crockpot for tonight–a beef roast with vegetables. I think it will be good and filling for all of us. I may nap today since Bob didn’t sleep well and kept me waking up throughout the night. We will see.

My mood is good but worried about the youngest and Bob not feeling well. I am glad to have had such a good mood. I hope it lasts a good long time. I like having a good mood. It’s been so long since I have been doing so well mood-wise. We will see how long it goes. I hate to sound so negative about it but I know what happens sometimes. I hope to finish my stories today and move on to something new.

I have a zoom interview Wednesday about the UPress job. I would like to get it even though I have applied so many other places. I think part-time work is probably good for me–I don’t think I’ll even be making enough to affect my benefits but at least I’d be out of the house some and staying busy.

Soon it will be time for lunch. I need to run do some more work before that. I am ready for my BPHope post to run soon. I looked back at several of my bipolar posts over the past year and a half and saw how well some of them have done–over 10,000 views. That is really exciting that I am reaching so many people. So I am proud of that. I guess I will run do some chores then cook lunch. Hope everyone has a good week starting off today. Godspeed.


Today we play Vanderbilt in football–hopefully we can win. If not, we are worse than I anticipated we would be this year. But we will see. Our home team won for the high school ame last night so that was good. My youngest wanted to participate in the band tradition last night of hanging out at Waffle House after the game so we told her she could. It’s been a thing they do ever since my oldest was in band, but neither she nor the middle one ever did it because they never asked us to since they thought we wouldn’t let them. So. Cue the whining when they find out she did. (I’m kidding, mostly. Our oldest tends to accuse us of favoring the youngest and letting her do things they never did. So) But she came in saying she didn’t have time to go and be home when we wanted her to. That’s all right, too.

Waiting on lunchtime–we’re going somewhere we haven’t been in a long time. Frisco’s serves embarrassingly huge portions of chicken tenders and fries so we are going to take the youngest there to fuel up for the band competition this afternoon and tonight. It will be yummy.

The baby did great at his other grandmother’s yesterday–she sent my oldest a short video of him giggling as she played with him so my oldest sent it to me. So now I can watch him laugh and carry on whenever I want to. 🙂 I am so glad things are working out for her to go back to work with the baby all taken care of.

I slept good again last night so hopefully I have turned a corner on that. Maybe I won’t be manic after all. I am glad of that. My mood is still good so that helps as well. I am going to try to finish my MCIR story today after my youngest goes to competition but before the game starts. It will be short but sweet.

I guess I will go and get dressed for the day. Hope everyone has a good weekend. Stay safe of the virus. Godspeed.

Good Night’s Sleep

I finally slept good. I went to bed early and tossed and turned for a good while until I finally went down. So very frustrating. But I feel better this morning and should be able to go throughout the day. I go see Holly to get my hair trimmed this morning.

My oldest had a good day at work yesterday for her first day. My son-in-law made it fine with the baby his first day keeping him so that was good.. Today will be his first day with the grandparents when my son-in-law has to go in to work before my oldest gets home. Hopefully that will go well as well. My oldest sounded really excited to be back at work so that was good–no regrets about leaving the little one with his daddy.

Need to work on my other MCIR story today on telehealth and the state of MS plan. I don’t know if I will finish it but I will try. I am so ready to have these stories cleared. I have been working on them for a very long time. We will see how it goes.

Bob is feeling considerably better but isn’t going to the game tonight–he is scared he would get worse again if he did. So I don’t think I will go either. Chance of rain and all that.

So I guess that is it today. I have started to wonder if I am going a little manic with the lack of sleep, etc. Pray that I can manage it and get better without the hospital. I need to go get some things refilled this morning so hopefully that will keep me on an even keel as well. Godspeed everyone.