Archive | January 2022

T-Minus One Day

One more day until I start work. I go get a makeover this morning–I’m going to update my makeup routine to fit my pandemic hair color–my current makeup is also getting old so I need new stuff. So I will leave and do that in just a few minutes.

I go meet Mary Jane for lunch today. I will be careful and eat on plan. I’ve got it figured out that I’m going to order a choose-two combo–a small entree and a salad. So we will see how that works. I’m meeting her at Biaggi’s, a really good Italian place. Going to have to cut back on my lunch dates now that I’m going to work. But I can still see people on Mondays and Fridays. Probably will still do less of it than I am right now.

My mood is really great right now! I am excited for the day and spending it as mindfully as possible so I can be ready for tomorrow. I have been really productive–edited a short story and have an idea for another one. I’m working through a book of writing prompts and trying to write a new short story once a week. So we will see how it goes. I’m looking forward to keeping on with it to expand my imagination. The prompt I revised for was “You are an astronaut. Describe a perfect day.” I think it worked out nicely.

I am still waking up at night. I am kind of at a loss. Maye it’s due to my excitement? I’m not staying awake a long time after I wake up anymore, and I don’t have the urge to get out of bed and do something, so I guess that’s improvement? I go back and see Dr. Bishop on Friday so I will tell him and let him come up with something. I guess I can do a week with the Klonopin and see if it helps? I will try it tonight and if I wake up draggy, I will quit. I don’t want to try to work like that.

I guess I’d better go get my snack and then head out. Going to be a fun day! So glad I’m feeling good. I hope it lasts a good while. Godspeed!

Counting Down

I realized last night that my life is really about to change really radically. I spent time in an office part of a day when I was teaching at Mississippi College, but that was two days a week, and I was free to do whatever I wanted while I was there–I didn’t really have to do that but I wanted to give the kids a chance to come by if they needed to. But this is going to be 6-7 hours for three days and expected to work steadily. And I’m sharing an office with another person and have to wear a mask the whole time. It’s going to be really different. And so now I have butterflies about doing it at all. I guess the smart thing will be to say, “Look. I’m really scared right now. I’m just going to do the best I can.”

I don’t know what giving up all my time to this is going to do. I am just going to have to do the best I can to stay up with everything at home, too. I don’t think that’s going to be a huge problem; the key things are laundry and cooking so I don’t see having a big problem with that. The kicker is to see what I do when/if I go severely downhill. I hope whenever that starts happening, I can jump on that as well and switch up my meds again and see how to counteract it.

We had a good time at church today. I asked for prayer to start this job and to make sure I go in on the right foot and set a certain tone for myself in that I can make a positive impact on the office and help them all do their jobs better because I am taking on this role. I am really hoping to have that kind of effect. So we will see. One more day and then liftoff on Tuesday. Please pray for me. Godspeed.

Praying

My oldest called this morning–my grandson is running a fever so she took him to urgent care. They said it was just a fever virus; he did have his six-month shots his week and that may be what’s causing it. But we are praying it will go down and he will get over it soon.

We’re up puttering around–my youngest is still in bed so we are waiting for her to get up before we go anywhere. Not sure where we’re going to eat lunch today. Bob told the youngest that she could choose so I figure it will be Amerigo’s or El Patrillo’s. But we will see.

Had an interesting day yesterday–I got an email for a job I had applied to and forgotten about, being communications manager for a charitable organization. I told her I already had an offer, but we still had a conversation about it. I don’t think I’m a fit, but she wanted me to think about it and talk again Monday. It’s so flattering, but I just don’t think I’m ready for a full-time office job, no matter how tempting.

My mood is really good, and my energy level is good. I’m not draggy and sleepy, but I’m not manic either. I’m back to an even keel. I’m so glad I decided to get on top of the mood shift and do something about it. I am really shocked that I’m managing so well without caffeine. That’s a real miracle, with no headaches or anything.

I guess I need to and get busy on other things. Hope everyone else is doing well this weekend. Thanks so much for reading. Godspeed.

In A Rush

Well. It’s just hit my mind that I have today and Monday before I start working so I am kind of running about trying to get my ducks in a row. Winding up my stories and accomplishing some things around the house. And trying to fit in some errands that need running. So today is going to be a little hectic.

Dr. Bishop asked me if I would be interested in participating in a media campaign his clinic is going into to raise awareness for mental illness so I agreed. I have a zoom call at 12:30 p.m. to get that started–telling about my story, etc. It’s kind of exciting knowing I may can reach a wider audience with my story. Hopefully it will turn out to be a good thing.

My sleep has improved considerably. I slept solid for six hours and a little broken sleep the next few hours, and I feel really good and awake now. The proof will come in how well the meds are doing when this little hypomanic period ends and we see if I slide back down. I hope I don’t go down as deep as I have before. I hope me and the doctors are catching things before they develop.

Everyone is well currently except Bob’s dad. He is still recovering from the out of pneumonia. He is really having a hard time coming back from that. I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised at that considering everything he has already been through. Bob is being really optimistic about it, which I suppose is good.

I guess I need to go back to work. We will see what I can accomplish before the Zoom meeting. Godspeed. Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Encouraging

Had a good and encouraging session with Tillie. We talked about the job, losing weight, and feeling manic, just like I planned. 🙂 She was encouraging and excited for me–she started off the session complimenting me on my story that came out in the big paper last weekend. So it was really affirming and reinforced that I am doing the right thing for myself in all of these areas.

I am still having disordered sleep–I woke up around 1:30 am and had a terrible time trying to go back to sleep. I guess I will have to try the Klonopin at night as well. Even if I do sleep better if I am draggy through the day I am not going to stay on it. But we’ll see.

My mood is good today; I got get my hair cut close to two pm and I will go to the grocery store as well. Not getting a lot–just meats and some new veggies, too. We will see how it goes this weekend. If the weather is supposed to stay cold, I may make beanless chili.

I think I will go ahead and go to the grocery store so it will be less crowded than it would be this afternoon. Good wishes for the end of the week!

Going To Therapy

I see TIllie this morning and am looking forward to it. I will have three things I can tell her I’ve done positive for the new year: started weight loss, got a job, and recognized I was starting to go manic. Dr. Bishop agreed with me yesterday, so now I have an upped Abilify for mania and upped Trazodone for sleep. I did wake up last night but not for long. So that was good. I feel good that I jumped on it and did something instead of just helplessly watching it happen.

My mood is back down to just feeling really good–I’m not irritated or sped-up like I was yesterday. So that’s a good feeling. I’ve been doing laundry this morning so keeping busy. I will probably go to the grocery store this afternoon and pick up meals for the rest of the week. I’ll do a Blue Apron tonight but need meats, etc. for other meals.

I am planning my office space at my new job. I have several knick-knacks I plan to take, and I’m going to ask for an electronic picture frame to put all of our latest pictures on for Valentine’s Day. ISince I can’t have stray carbs in chocolate on this diet). We will see how that works out.

I need to wind up a few things before I leave so I guess I will move on. Hope Hump Day is going well for the rest of you. Have a good day.

Up Early

Bob’s office is full of COVID–everyone is out except him and two other people out of nine. They are managing but Bob had to get up at five-fifteen to get there to man the phones early for one person that is out in addition to his own job. So his day is going to be hectic. I got up with him because I couldn’t stay asleep, then went back to bed after he left. So I am still sleepy but am going to try to force myself to stay up so I have an easier time sleeping tonight.

I am really nervous about not sleeping well–I know it can lead to a manic episode. I am fighting it, going to bed on time or early, etc. but I don’t know that it’s doing a lot of good.

My mood is iffy too. I feel very impatient with myself and everyone else. I feel like I’m on some kind of hurry-up mission and dragging people behind me. I want the days to go faster. I know all of this is dangerous. I guess I need to call my psychiatrist and see what to do. I may have to go back on Klonopin, which I don’t want to do. We will see.

Well, I went ahead and scheduled an appointment and told Bob, and he said to make sure to ask him about starting this jo next week, if that would be healthy. So I will. But I think he’ll just add Klonopin back in at night. I have some here so it won’t be hard.

At least I know what to do. SO that is good. I guess I will move on and go on with my day. Hope everyone is doing well. Godspeed.

Back to Work

Bob went back to work this morning and I am trying to–I’ve made phone calls and tried to get information on one of my stories this morning. I am waiting on information on others. I sent a legally binding request last week to the area where I did my police brutality story and am waiting for that time to elapse. I’m not sure what the next steps are if they don’t comply–I guess that will be a talk with my editor.

I’m in a decent mood–knowing I’m going to be at loose ends much of the day isn’t great, but I suppose it’s better than too tightly scheduled. Talked a bit to my oldest today–they are coming up in February and she is trying to work out what all they will do once they get here. She’s not sure her husband will be able to come although he’s requested the time off–they’ve approved hers but not his so far. Looking forward to getting to see them again.

I go see my counselor Wednesday then get my hair trimmed Thursday so I can go to work with it all neatened up Tuesday of the next week. I need to go drop off some things to be framed; I tried doing it yesterday, but the shop was closed Sunday. Now they should be open so I am going to run out and do that. Hope you all have a good day and a good start to the week. Godspeed.

Giving Up Caffiene

I’m so sleepy today. I went to church but tried to doze through the message. So when I got home, I went back to sleep. Bob had finally gotten up so I got good rest without him in the bed. Now I’m up with another empty day before me. Yesterday I went out and bought stuff for my youngest’s birthday so I don’t have any errands to run today. I’m not feeling as restless as I did yesterday so I suppose that’s good. But we will see what happens this coming week.

I’m sort of down today, not despondent but just not as comfortable and easy as I have been for a while. I don’t know if it’s the boredom or the general aimlessness of my days right now. I just hope this job succeeds in keeping my mind occupied and giving me some activity to lose myself in once I start it. My last story came out in the big Jackson paper so that was nice to see yesterday. Maybe someone who can investigate law enforcement can see it and see what to do to check the story out.

Maybe I need to go back to bed. I thought I slept good. I guess not. I suppose I will move on. Hope everyone has a good rest of the day. Godspeed.

Restless

I am very, very restless this morning. I have only been out of the house to go grocery shopping the past few days, and I want to go out and do something today. But Bob can’t get out because of the cold, and my youngest is not up yet. I don’t know what to do. There’s nothing really around here to do as far as just a killing-time-and-learning-something-too kind of activity, like a museum or whatnot. Tomorrow I’ll go to church, but that doesn’t help me today. I’m halfway tempted to just run up to my mom and dad’s for a quick visit, but I’m kind of scared to leave Bob recovering from this pneumonia. At least we plan to go out and eat today and will bring Bob something back.

That’s really all I have going on right now. I’m just not ready to sit at the computer and scroll today like I have been doing. I want to go. But we will figure something out. My mood is really good except for the minor frustration. This kind of time is when I miss the kids. We could have a good time just sitting around and talking.

Hope the rest of you are better planners and not so stuck-feeling. Godspeed.