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I left work early yesterday–I had felt bad all day and finally wound up in the bathroom dry heaving. SO I came home and tried to relax. We went out so I could have a really mild baked potato and I tried to rest some more. I actually started typing on my story late in the evening but didn’t finish it. Maybe tonight I can.

My oldest girl and her family go back home today. They are going to spend this morning with Bob’s mom then head out during the time for the baby’s afternoon nap. Hopefully they can wear him out enough that he will sleep well. They had a good visit with my mom and dad yesterday except for the drive home; the baby refused to go to sleep and screamed most of the trip. But they got him to go down for a nap when they got back so all was well. We are going to miss them once they leave.

Today is my youngest girl’s last day of school. She is excited to begin summer vacation. Going to be different with me working now. I will have to dream up things to keep her busy. We will see how it goes.

I need to get ready. Pray that I won’t start feeling sick again. Thanks for thinking of all of us during this time.

Slogging

I slogged through the day yesterday. When I was trained on InDesign to make news releases, I didn’t take nearly enough notes and I couldn’t do anything without being trained on it again yesterday. I felt so stupid. But this time I took two pages of detailed, step-by-step notes (which I should have done the first time). I will work more on that today. They are looking at giving me more responsibility, so I am looking forward to that as well. o

My oldest is going to go see my mom and dad today with her husband and little boy. I hope they have a good visit.

I had a terrible time going to sleep last night. I laid down and my mind would not stop spinning. I took a klonopin. Then lay down again. No relief. I got up and got some hot chocolate. Got back in bed. Still did not go to sleep until Bob came to bed and we could snuggle. I hope this doesn’t become a pattern.

I guess I need to run get ready for work. Godspeed to all.

Going to Work

I’m going into the office today and see what I can accomplish. I hope that work can help make this mental fog start to lift. The longer it goes on, the lower my mood is sliding. And I was doing so well. I can’t dilly-dally this morning–I stayed in the bed for too long. Hope everyone has a good day.

Blank

My mind feels blank. I don’t know anything to say today. I have errands to run and I want to write my article but I just can’t right now. Godspeed to all.

Sunday

Good morning! We went to church this morning and had a great Sunday School class and a really good church service. I saw Holly there–she used to attend Crossgates but has gone to another church for years–I couldn’t catch her after church so I called and welcomed her that way :). I see her Friday to cut my hair so I will talk to her more then. I was sleepy during the service, but I didn’t sleep all that well last night. We will see how it goes.

I’m still brain-fogged. I hope this lifts soon. I need to be alert to take care of everything that needs taking care of. I don’t think I’m bipolar depressed, although there is enough going on to be depressed about, all right. But it doesn’t feel like that–I just feel foggy. Like I tried to open the car door in the parking lot yesterday to a car that wasn’t mine–I was parked two spaces over. We will see.

Tomorrow I will try to work at home on my projects, then Tuesday I go back to the office. My oldest and her family are going to go see her other grandmother on Wednesday, then they will head back home Thursday. And we will all be praying for the family and the company to recover and be able to cope with Robert’s passing.

I may go back and see Tillie next Friday. I will need to call tomorrow and leave a message and see. Hopefully there will be room in the schedule or another cancellation. I just don’t know.

I don’t want to stop here but I can’t think of anything else to say. Soon we will be eating lunch and then I may go back to sleep if my grandson and his parents don’t come over. Pray for us that we can move on and find our way through this.

Aftermath

So my middle one has gone back to Georgia with her boyfriend and Bob’s cousins have gone back to Michigan. My oldest is staying around for a bit and my mother-in-law’s brother is staying with her for a little while. We are just going to be figuring out how to do with him gone for the next little while.

I went to see Tillie yesterday and talked about how everything went down and how we were all coping. She kept my focus on how to deal with the loss and noted that I could always take my rescue medicine if obsessions or other bothersome thoughts rear their heads. So now I have a plan. That will help a lot.

We went to the Natural Science Museum, and they were having a disability event there–I saw my friend Katrina there as part of the ALS Awareness team, and I met someone from Families as Allies and Sitaniel Wimberly of NAMI. It was a nice-looking event except that they planned to be outside, and it was raining. So that was a bummer. My grandson really enjoyed the fish and all the still exhibits at the museum; they are raising him with lots of pets and all so he likes animals.

We are resting at the house waiting for my grandson to finish his nap. He has been a wonderful distraction from everything going on. He is very happy and easy-going and cheerful which is wonderful for a time such as this.

I suppose that is all I am thinking right now. I’m not in a down mood, but I don’t feel as energetic as I was for a while there. I mainly feel foggy; it’s hard to concentrate on anything other than what is going on right this second. I want to go back to planning and trying to make sense of what may be happening down the road. But I just can’t right now. Which I suppose is to be expected.

Godspeed to all.

Trying to Cope

I am trying to cope. Thankful that my counselor had a cancellation for today and I will get in to see her. I need it.

My middle one and her boyfriend are going back to Georgia today. We will miss them but are glad they were both able to come. My oldest is going back to Florida next week; Bob’s cousins are in and looking to travel back at the very end of this week maybe. So we have a lot of family support here for the worst of this. Bob went back to work today, but I think work will help him out, give him something else to think about but he can feel like he is carrying on his dad’s work as well since he works for his dad’s company. So I didn’t argue with him about going back.

I was reminded this morning why I continue to blog about bipolar disorder and do it the way I have been; someone found my post on the NAMI website about hypergraphia and came to my blog after reading that. This person said that mine was the only personal story about they found about the syndrome and that reading it helped. Personal stories reach people who are hurting. Tips and solutions are great, but personal story makes a person feel understood and seen. That was a real lift for me.

I hope to be able to work through things at therapy today and hope to be able to work on my other MCIR story on COVID this weekend. Maybe I will feel more free now and more open to writing instead of feeling so inhibited and scared to put words on the page.

That seems to be all for today I can think of. Continue to pray for us all as well walk through the next few weeks. Godspeed.

Funeral

We just got in from the funeral for Bob’s dad. Everything was exactly as he had planned it himself, down to the last detail of the pianist playing the closing song “Victory in Jesus” as we walked out of the church. We went to the graveside and had some special moments there–the funeral director started crying his eyes out when saying goodbye to my mother-in-law, talking about how special my father-in-law was to him. When the funeral director loses it, you know it was a touching funeral.

Then we went back for the family meal at the church and that was a ministry as well. We greatly enjoyed the company and all. All of my girls broke down during the funeral on and off; Bob held up pretty well and so did I. A blessing. (I’m still going to see my therapist tomorrow if I can).

I got a letter from Social Security–I am in my trial work period now, which I did not know the earning amounts I was at now exceeded the amount I was allowed for trial work. Ick. So now I need to work out what that means, if I will be kicked off Social Security or not. I suppose it’s a great problem to have, but if I let it go, what happens if I have to quit work in the spring because of a bipolar flare? So I suppose I will just have to wait and see.

Any way. That’s all I can think to write right now. Hope everyone has a good day, and thanks for praying for us–I can feel the prayers working. Godspeed.

Robert Miller Whitehead Sr.

Robert Miller Whitehead Sr. went to be with his Lord and Savior on Monday. May 9, 2022 at home in Brandon. Visitation will be from 5 p.m.-8 p.m. on Wednesday, May 11, at Ott and Lee Funeral Home in Brandon and again from 10 a.m.-11 a.m. at Brandon Baptist Church, 100 Brandon Baptist Drive, Brandon, MS 39042 with the funeral following at 11 a.m. Graveside service will be at Crestview Memorial Gardens after the funeral.

Robert is survived by his much beloved wife, Janet Montgomery Whitehead, their son, Bob Whitehead (Julie), their daughter, Becky Whitehead (Matt), six grandchildren, Terrie Morrison (Thomas), Amber Whitehead, Will Woods, Alex Woods, Rachel Whitehead, and Jack Woods, one great-grandchild, Thomas Morrison II, one sister, Carole Rose Hammett, and many loved nieces and nephews.

Robert was born on October 8, 1944, in Macon, MS to Jack Randall and Mae Miller Whitehead. He was preceded in death by his parents, his brother, Jack R. Whitehead, and his sister, Peggy McIntyre.

Robert attended school for ten years in Louisville, MS and graduated from Corinth High School in Corinth, MS. He graduated from Mississippi State University and was a proud supporter for many years, serving on the board of the Mississippi State University Foundation several times and attending all the games.

Robert loved to serve his Lord and Savior. He supported the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary for over forty years, helping with scholarships, the swap shop, and many other ministries and projects. He worked with Romanian-American Missions, Yellowstone Baptist College while it was in Billings, MT, Blue Mountain College, American Seminary, and William Carey University. He was humbled when William Carey University presented him an honorary Doctorate in 2021 for his support for their ministries and evangelic programs.  He was privileged to be a charter member of Brandon Baptist Church and served as a deacon and on many committees. He also sponsored and led mission groups in Wyoming and Louisiana for several years.  

Robert built two businesses: Whitehead Equipment Company, which was a twenty-year Stihl product distributor, and RW Distributors, which distributed Honda and Exmark products for over thirty years. He was so grateful to the people and customers he served over the years.

In lieu of flowers, memorials can be made to the Brandon Baptist Church Building Fund at 100 Brandon Baptist Drive, Brandon, MS 39042.

Passed Away

Robert Miller Whitehead Sr. passed away yesterday afternoon at around 5:20 p.m. Funeral arrangements are incomplete.

Bob and the girls and I are very, very sad. The family meets this morning to make the funeral arrangements and all. I am staying off work this week if they do the funeral when they plan to so far. My girls will be traveling in today and tomorrow depending on everything. My youngest went to school today and that will probably be good for her. I am going to the grocery store today and picking up a few things to get ready for everyone to be here.

Don’t know much else to say.

Godspeed.