I’m feeling really good. I burned through all my work today and got just about everything caught up. My main priority today was done, and then I spent time catching up some leftover tasks. Monday I’ll do the MS Books blog, some orders, then start on more mailing lists, then back to my big long-term project if there’s time left. So that is already set up in my mind and I know what to do. It’s so nice to be keeping a structure to the day/weeks/month–to know what to do in what order.

I’ll finish up laundry this afternoon and tonight so Bob can pack. That will be nice to have a clean laundry room again! If I manage it. But I’m sure I will.

I hate waiting for the other shoe to drop. That’s how I feel whenever I start feeling well and doing tasks in a timely manner, etc. I can’t even enjoy feeling well because I’m so scared it means I’m going manic. Early mania is so sneaky.

I guess I will wind up everything. I’m not sure if I’ll be blogging on our trip. I won’t take my computer and blogging from my phone is easier than before but takes longer. We will see. So don’t panic if you don’t hear from me–I’m just having fun!


WOW! But Tired

We had a wonderful trip to see my oldest and her family and my middle one was able to come down as well so for a time, we had the whole family together under one roof. It went really well. We got there Friday and spent part of Saturday with them then my oldest had off Sunday and Monday so we spent the whole day with her and the baby. We ate at some really wonderful places and went to Disney Springs with the baby and he was so good.

My youngest fell in love with him immediately–wanted to hold him and play with him as much as we did. But my middle one is uncomfortable around tiny ones, so she was less active with him. But that was okay. So then we just called my oldest to let her know we were home and she said that he has been looking for us today.

Our middle one went back Monday and got to see a good friend of hers that is in Atlanta on the way so that made her very happy. She texted us to let us know she was home safe when she got in. We probably won’t talk to her tonight because she has therapy at night for the time being. But at least she got home okay.

Going to be hard to get out of bed tomorrow. But I need to start contacting people as soon as I get up and going to start work again. I have my second interview with UPress tomorrow and hopefully they will hire after this time. I do hope I get it. I also have permission to work on my next story so that is coming up.

I suppose I will wind up for tonight. I made the trip without any mental or emotional snags so that was good. I have plenty to start work on so i will not be lazing around anymore. So we will see what happens. Hope everyone’s week is going well. Godspeed.


My middle one did get discharged yesterday! So she is on her way here even as we speak. I wish I could say that her stay did her some good, but she says it didn’t. She didn’t learn anything in group and wasn’t told anything to help her cope better. She is going to sign up for an outpatient program that she hopes will help her cope better once she gets back from visiting us. So hopefully she can get the help she needs once she gets back and gets into a long-term treatment program. I wish we were closer so we could support her more, but we’re not and there’s nothing that can be done about that right now.

My oldest took her baby to the doctor yesterday for a check-up and they said he is doing really well. He’s advanced for his age in motor skills, etc.–rolling over, holding up his head, etc. puts him at six-month developmental milestones so my oldest was proud of him. I can’t wait to see him once we get there after New Year’s.

My mood is really good today. I am thanking God for showing my middle one favor and now I am hoping that prayer will help my oldest as well with her scheduling conflict. The whole situation is just ridiculous. But I am praying hard for that as well.

Well, I have things to do before we leave this afternoon to go to deer camp for Thanksgiving. They don’t have internet up there, so I will not post tomorrow and will probably post about mid-day Friday once we get back. Here’s hoping everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday. Godspeed.

Another Blank Day

Ran an errand late this morning but otherwise, nada. I do plan to pack to go see my daughter tomorrow. But that is about all I am going to manage to do today, I think. I can’t even type correctly today. I hope my doctor can help me Tuesday. I think I am going to have to ask for ECT. I’m scared of it, but I don’t know what else to try.

This post may be the last one I can make until we get back. Read back in the archives a bit if you’d like.

Vacay Morning

My youngest .one’s travel buddy same and spent the night last night so we could get an early start this morning–I just woke them both up so they could get dressed while my husband showers I have all of my medicine and clothes and such packed–I’m not making a production out of myself because we’re going to spend one day at Dollywood so I’ll get all wet with the splash rides. If they’ve actually opened back up–I just realized I never asked Bob if he called ahead to see.

I aim to relax so you won’t be hearing from me for a couple of days. I think I need the total mental break, then I can do this MCIR story and then start revising on my thesis. Revise until August and try to start querying in September when I can officially say I have the MFA. We will see how this goes.

Hope everyone else has a good rest of the week and weekend. We’re about to go off and get breakfast and gas. Godspeed.

Day Before Vacation

So we pack today and get ready to leave for vacation. I will not be updating the blog the two days we are at Gatlinburg so feel free to wander in out archives. I have a link that might amuse you–my public reading after my thesis defense was recorded and is on Facebook. I’m the last reader of the night. (3) Facebook I’m reading from my memoir I did for thesis called “Not Quite Right”.

I need to finish my laundry and get together what I’m going to wear. I need to run an errand or two before we leave–gassing up my car and going to get a sturdy envelope for my thesis signature pages to go to the printer. I picked the monastery printer out of our list–it’s a group of Trappist monks in Oregon who print and bind books. It cost a mint but I ordered four copies–two for the W, one for me, and one for whom I am dedicating it to. So that made a nice order for them.

I watched the video. I didn’t look as fat as I thought I might–the lectern helped. I did a lot of hesitation sounds in my Q&A, so I need to brush up on my presentation skills some more. But overall I feel good about my performance, my defense, and all of that.

I slept late but don’t feel any desire to go back to sleep. So that is good.

Talked to Tillie yesterday about my dissociation symptoms and she said it was an anxiety manifestation, but to think about this as well–it could be that my medicine was working to keep me from feeling so overloaded and out of control. I think that is a better way to think about this, especially that some of the emotion is coming back but not overwhelming and devastating. So that helps.

I guess I will run my errands before Bob gets home so I can have the envelope ready to ship off my thesis signature pages when he gets back to the office after lunch. Hope everyone is doing well moving into the downswing of the week. I may be able to post a farewell post tomorrow, depends on timing. Godspeed all.


SO we go off to Texas Thursday and I got back at midnight last night. THe funeral was quite nice, but the real heart of the whole experience was watching my daddy talk in a way I hadn’t for a long time. He talked all the way over to me and my cousin Tim who was driving us, Then he talked all day and all night the whole time we were there. He finally took a break to take a nap Saturday morning so he would be able to stay up and keep Tim awake for the drive back.

THere were eleven of us that came from Mississippi. Me, Tim, Mom, and Daddy in their car, Summer, Kristi, Quincy, and Knox in Summer’s car, and Ricky, Regina, and Robert in Ricky’s car. And we all stayed at Tony and Linda’s house. Tim and Ricky have always been the closest cousins to him in age and he was really close to them when he did live in Mississippi. So they were the perfect ones to come. Neighbors brought in food so we didn’t want for anything the whole time we were there.

It was just very curious to watch my daddy take patriarch stage of the Liddell family just like he has the Vowell family He was always the youngest of the lot, and now he’s the only male relative of his generation left. So he told all the old stories and it didn’t matter if he remembered everybody’s name that was involved or not, he told them in his own way. It was a sight to see.


So I am getting ready to go out to Texas for my aunt’s funeral. My mom and dad will pick me up in a couple of hours and wewill go the rest of the way together. I don’t normally like traveling without Bob, but we will see how this goes. I have all my meds and can get to them easily in my luggage so I don’t see that as being a problem. I’ve really been on an even keel lately so I don’t think any untoward is going to happen. It will just be a sad time for all of us.

I wrote and wrote and wrote yesterday and finished those two college chapters that I expanded with more details on me and Bob’s relationship. It was an awful lot of writing to get everything covered that I meant to. I don’t know if I conveyed exactly what I wanted to in those words–I’ll have to check on that when I come back and can look at it with fresh eyes.

I probably won’t be blogging the next couple of days. It will be from my cell phone if at all, so any entry will probably be short. But feel free to check back and see if I managed it!

I need to now go and write another BP Hope blog post before I leave. Then I will have discharged all my responsibilities that I can think of ANd then I will wait. But good love to all of you and stay safe. Godspeed

Hello Again!

We are back from Florida!  We had a good visit with my oldest and middle and youngest all together with us for the first time in a while. We went to Disney Springs, Silver Springs, Jacksonville, and St. Augustine.  A lot of fun and visiting and driving, too, but that was okay.

We met our oldest’s boyfriend and he seemed really nice and friendly. We found out a lot about him–he talked easily even though he said he was really an introvert by nature. But we got him talking about fishing and hunting and different things he likes to do so he opened up. It was a nice visit.

My nerves held up until the very last bit coming home–I wondered when we would see my oldest one again so I started sniffling a bit.  But I got over that fairly quickly.  I am glad to be home though. I missed my routine and my writing and all that good stuff.  I did get a writing book read while we were gone so that was good. I am excited to turn in my  story for MCIR then start in on my thesis again.

So we will see what happens this week as I get back acclimated to the house and to cooking. 🙂   Very glad for those of you who came by in my absence.  Godspeed.



Going to see my oldest (and meet her boyfriend for the first time) this morning! WE have CD’s picked out, bags almost packed, and have woken up everyone for the trip.  So we are moving along well. I am going to pack up the last of my meds once I take them this morning and I should be good to go. Hope everyone else has a safe and happy Fourth of July!