Tag Archive | bipolar disorder

Happy Anniversary to Us

Bob and I celebrated our anniversary a little early–taking advantage of our youngest  being gone to go out to dinner at Shapley’s, a fancy steakhouse here in the Ridgeland area.  Today’s the actual day–we’ve been married 24 years today. We’ve started trying to plan what we want to do on our 25th–we usually take a trip somewhere by our selves every five years around it.  But we will see what happens then.

Other than than that we had a slow weekend. The middle one went to the local COmicCon and brought me back a Charlie Brown book–a collection of all the prose writing of Charles Schulz. It’s a decent looking sized book and should keep me occupied during DTU while the youngest is dancing.

I’ve figured out what is bothering me so much about my thesis thus far.  I haven’t included anything yet about being saved, so it’s all depressing.  No one wants to read something with no redemption, but I’m scared no one wants to read about my redemption–particularly my thesis committee–an atheist, and gay Jew-ish man, and a writer who I know is a liberal politically.   I’m praying about it, but all I know to do it fit it in chronologically and see what they say.

 

 

Tooth Troubles

So my tooth turned out to be one of the few that wasn’t already crowned, so they drilled out the filling and the cavity that had developed around it and put a crown on it.  I have to go back in two weeks and get the permanent one put on.  $800 for my portion after insurance.  Bleah.  And then it ached last night.  I took a hopped-up ibuprofen for it and slept really soundly.  SO that helped.  Now I’m looking at laundry and all such as that today.

My middle one is having friends over for a final get-together before they scatter for college.  Of course its here as all of their parties have been ever since they started playing D&D. They’re going to play around a bit today and spend the night here, then go to ComicCon tomorrow.  Bob and I are going to pop in to ComicCon and see what it is like.  We’ve never been to one.  SO we will see.

I really want to go back to bed.  I am sleepy.  But there’s too much to do, so we will see how much of it gets one once I get moving.  Hopefully all of it.  We will see.  My mood seems to be pretty goo; it’s just my motivation needs some kickstart.

 

Another Dental Visit

So I go to the dentist today for a cleaning and to have them look at my back tooth.  Fun fun fun.

I feel so bummed out.  I think it is finally settling into my soul that my middle one will leave for college in less than two weeks.  I know I will miss her.  I’ve been trying to avoid that fact but I will.  And I’m anxious about how my relationship with my youngest will change.  I don’t really know what to do with her.  I’ll have a month with her  before school starts and I’m at a bit of a loss what all to do.

I’m also a little freaked out about this tropical storm headed for us,  I don’t want to start flashbacking to Katrina or anything weird like that.  I’m trying to keep a handle on my anxiety about it but am not sure what I will do if we lose  power or have a spinoff tornado or something like that.

Just pray for me and my family as we move through the next few weeks and see how things go.  I know I will need them.

 

Writing My Thesis

Yesterday I took what I have written so far that has been through workshop, read by my professor and commented on, etc. I came up with a little over 100 pages when it needs to be closer to 280.  The good thing is I have 100 pages on the meat of the story, starting when I first became really symptomatic through when I ran away to Louisiana.

So I need about 80 pages on my life  before hand and 100 on my life afterwards.  WIth varying degrees of episodes to talk about, I think I should get to the page count before the thesis year, which I hope to spend refining it.

So we will see.  It will be a long process, but I think it will go well.  The hope is to have a salable book out of it by the time I finish.  I may have a novel as well taking two years of fiction workshop and forms. All I know is that it seems a long time away right now. I’m not quite halfway through

We’re waiting on my mom and dad to pick up the youngest one and spend the better part of a week with them.  They’ll come back Sunday.  I think it’s going to rain the whole time, but maybe not,  Maybe the tropical depression will spin out soon.

Dental Visit

My girls went to the dentist today and got good reports.  I go Thursday and I will need to have a tooth worked on I think–it hurts when I floss and is bad to get stuff caught in it and sometimes just aches for no reason.  I don’t know if it’s already crowned or not (fairly certain that it is) so I may wind up with another root canal.  Fun.  But we will see,

I feel decent today considering everything.  I’m sleepy but that’s nothing new.  I’m working my way through my art journals from when I was breaking down but not yet diagnosed.  I’m just not coming up with as much detail as I would like for this section.  I’m ten and a half pages in and just about to my first hospitalization, which I will copy into this section.  I just can’t remember as much about this time period as I do about Louisiana. at least I’m not triggering anything reading over it all again.

Speaking of triggers, a mini hurricane is headed for Louisiana with landfall in the next few days.  Everyone is already making Katrina references and scaring me. But they say this one is just going to dump a ton of rain and that’s about it.  SO we will see how things go.

I keep thinking there’s a real journal somewhere that I kept during that time but I can’t find it.  Oh well.

 

Father’s Day

So we went to see my dad on Saturday and Robert on Sunday.  It all went fairly well.  Bob stayed home with my middle one since she was still on a bland diet.  So just me and the youngest one went to my parents’ house.  We had a good trip in that we talked some and listened to some good music.  I need to get used to her being the only child at home; that’s going to be a big switch in a couple of weeks.

I’ve been dragging this morning.  Not sure why.  I need to go to the grocery store for supper tonight and see what I can come up with.  But I am very tired and not quite sure why.

I’m doing better on my mss than I thought I might.  I am remembering more and doing a good job of jogging my memory. I’m only about two months into the nine-month period I haven’t written about before and I need to figure out how to prompt my memory for the rest of it.

I am trying an experiment.  I am waiting to eat until I am actually hungry.  That means I plan to eat around lunchtime my first meal today because I’m really not hungry this morning.  Maybe if I quit shoving food down when it’s “mealtime” I can get a handle on my weight.  WE will see.

Hope everyone has a good start to their week.

Good Night’s Sleep

I got such a good night’s sleep last night.  I needed it. We took my middle one ot the doctor yesterday, and he said she may have developed gastritis from being too quick to eat something solid once she got to feeling better.  (The choice of chicken parmesan was probably not too healthy.) So she is on medication and a bland diet for the next little while.

I am so very frustrated with myself.  I am trying to remember more about my time when I was so psychotic but no one actually realized it in the nine months before I was diagnosed.  I’ve read up on my art journal and looked at what all I was writing newspaper-wise back then but can’t come up with much more than I already know.  I didn’t keep a journal then so I am really lost as to some of the things I do remember– when they happened in the timeline, etc.  It’s just not as impirinted in my mind as other times are.  That may be a mercy from GOd that I don’t remember it, but it’s not helping my writing any.

Anyway.  I’m going out to lunch today with a friend that I knew in high school who just discovered I was in Brandon who lives in Richland right now.  SO we at meeting up in Brandon at a BBQ place we both like.  We will see how it goes.