Tag Archive | bipolar disorder

Slog

I felt good yesterday. But I was SO LAZY. I didn’t accomplish anything. I’ve got stuff to be doing and I can’t seem to make myself do anything useful. What use is feeling right if I can’t motivate myself to do what I need to do? And today feels like more of the same.

Tomorrow I am going to buckle down–I don’t have any appointments and it’s the last Monday I’ll have off until the Christmas holidays. So I need to clear two projects off my plate so I can start re-writing and re-drafting on my memoir project. We will see how it goes.

I did not sleep well last night–my cough kept me up. I never woke up enough to grab a cough drop from my bedside table, so I just kept coughing. Very frustrating.

I think after lunch I am going to try to sleep some. Either that or go shopping at another bookstore with birthday money. I tried going clothes shopping on Friday and yesterday and simply could not find anything I wanted to spend money on. It’s all pioneer-girl dresses and ugly colors. And ripped-out knees on pants. UGH.

I suppose that enough complaining. I’m going to go get something to eat and then decide what to do. Hope everyone else has a good day. Godspeed.

Trying to Wake Up

Had kind of a long night last night–it was Homecoming for my daughter’s school and she went to the dance that night so I was up late seeing her off to that. Then I went to bed and let Bob stay up to welcome them home after the dance. So he was up even later. He’s just now getting up. Which is okay.

We plan to watch the Mississippi State game today and have fun with that. We just plan to goof off today. I need a few goof-off days–I didn’t accomplish much yesterday in terms of chores but I ran around all day–I left the house at 7:30 a.m. and didn’t return for good until 2:30 p.m. I went to Dr. Bishop, a bookstore, a clothing store, lunch with my mother-in-law, and then the dentist. So I was very busy. I got some fun stuff at the bookstore so that was good–I spent my birthday money from my mom so that was good.

I got my birthday present from my middle one yesterday–she set me a really fancy calligraphy set–one where you dip the pen in the ink, which I have never worked with before. I will have to try it out on the Christmas cards this year. I have only worked with pens that take ink cartridges before so this will be new.

Dr. Bishop seemed really proud of how well I’m doing. He said he was glad I had really reached a good place after the scare with my meds earlier. I go back to the sleep apnea people in October and will get my CPAP fitted and adjusted so we will see how that goes. I am not looking forward to that, but I also don’t want to take a high dose of stimulant medication forever just to feel normal.

Tomorrow will be my official eighth anniversary of the blog. Stay tuned for an update on the state of bipolar blogging tomorrow. 🙂 Godspeed to all.

Still Birthdaying

Among other things–I go see my psychiatrist this morning and my dentist this afternoon but sandwiched in between is my birthday lunch with my mother-in-law. So I am looking forward to that. Bob and my youngest gave me their presents last night once she came in from the homecoming activities–she gave me a Charlie Brown book and Bob gave me a fancy purse for fall he found at Disney World that is themed–it has pictures from The Rescuers movie on it! Bob said the girls picked it out for him to give me. So it was a very good day.

I slept pretty solid last night so that was good. I’m soon going to have to run get ready for going to my appointment and will see what all I can get done today. Here’s to another wonderful day! Godspeed to all.

First Day of 52!

Yay me!

Been a slow morning so far–I haven’t been up long. I don’t feel any more older than yesterday so I’m taking that as a good sign. 🙂 Today is my long day working so I will be busier than usual. We will see how it goes.

I really am actually proud I’ve made it this far. Sometimes I remember how bad I used to feel and how badly I just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. It reminds me to be grateful for good medicine, good therapy, a strong family, and the grace of God that never took me when I so wanted to leave the world behind. I’m grateful for every year I’ve had since 2006.

I need to run get ready for work. You all have a great day right along with me! 🙂 Godspeed.

Last Day to Be 51

So tomorrow is my birthday and I get to spend it working from home. A nice arrangement. Yesterday went well. We had a meeting at work that took up much of the morning; I am getting the hang of blogging for the press, and last night was good and relaxing.

I’ve sent my fiction project to the last publishing house for this year–the remaining five all open up at various times next year so I can breathe easy about that for a while. Now it is time to wait and see what develops. I probably won’t hear anything from anyone for several months, but that is not stopping me from checking my Submittable queue :(. Just to see who is already reading it (or not). But I will drive myself crazy if I keep that up :). I plan to start back on my memoir project in October so that will keep me busy.

Well, I need to run start my day. Hopefully it will be good; I think it will, and that’s half the battle :). Hope everyone else has a boost for midweek. Godspeed.

Unsure

What I’ll be working on today. Probably depends on what I find in my email when I get to work. So we will see.

I am having trouble getting going this morning. But it won’t take long to get ready to go once I start. I won’t have to stop off to pick up food for the day since we got another shipment of our diet foods yesterday. We will see how things go today. All I know is I feel hungry already 😦

i got such an encouraging note from my professor buddy Mike in Wisconsin about finishing my fiction project. I’ve always liked the Tom Clancy quote about how writing a “stack of finished pages” is about like circling the world on a ship was for the old exploring sailors. It’s nice to have someone excited for you about something as nebulous as starting to shop a book around. Not much encouragement in that process usually. But I have some really supportive friends so that’s good.

I suppose that’s all for this morning. I need to run get ready for work. I hope everyone’s week starts off well. Godspeed.

Monday Morning

So I went to my GI doctor for follow-up on my colonoscopy and liver scan and got a sermon about losing weight. So I’m going back on the diet for serious starting on my birthday this week. My mother-in-law and Bob want to take me out to eat so I’ll have to be careful–but I think I can do it. Getting a discussion of what’s actually going on in my body from the doctor made it a lot more real and serious–plus realizing I don’t have to lose as much as I thought to have a normal BMI. If I lose 90 pounds, I’m at the top range of normal. If I go lower to weigh 125, I’ll be dead-center normal. So it’s not as unreachable at it felt at first. So we will see.

I also got a urine test to see what this low back pain might be, if it’s a kidney infection or what. So that’s in the mix as well. If that comes back normal, I’ll call my doctor and see what he suggests doing to figure out what the pain is, whether it’s musculoskeletal or what.

My mom called this morning and said they weren’t coming after all; she said she didn’t sleep at all last night and didn’t think it would be a good idea to come in that shape, so they are staying in today. We will see how she recovers. I’ll call again this afternoon and see how she is doing.

I will be working on a story for VeryWell Mind today and see how that goes. I think it’s going to be interesting. I’m rating an online counseling service so we will see what happens. I hope it goes well and I don’t have more cancellations. Otherwise it’s going to be a short review. 🙂 But that will keep me busy this afternoon.

So I have a bit of a hectic day ahead. I go in to work tomorrow so that will be good. I suppose it’s time for me to start taking the stairs to try to burn more calories than I take in. I don’t see that happening much now so it will be a big change and maybe something I can do so i don’t have to try to work out quite so much as I might need to otherwise. It will be a start, at least.

I suppose that’s all for today. God bless all of you who keep reading. I appreciate you all so much. Godspeed.

I Stayed Awake!

I stayed awake for the whole Sunday School lesson and the whole church service, too–that felt miraculous compared to how sleepy I was feeling. But it was a very inspiring sermon and gave me a lot of encouragement and hope for the future. So I stayed awake to glean all I could out of it. Such a blessing.

Well, we lost like big dogs last night–State held it together until the third quarter and muffed a punt and it was all downhill from there. But there was hope, which something we so rarely feel with our Bulldogs. So that was good.

We’re going out for National Cheeseburger Day and getting burgers for lunch. SO that will be good. We’ll probably be leaving in another fifteen minutes. Today has been good so far. Hopefully I can get done all I need to get done and enjoy it as well.

My parents are coming tomorrow to see me for my birthday, so we will see how that goes. I’m hoping they’ll get here in time for a late lunch because I have an appointment in the morning so we will see how that goes. I stay so busy with appointments in my off days.

Well, that’s all I can think of for this morning. Godspeed.

Sleepy Saturday

We slept in today and are just now really getting going. Our youngest didn’t have a game last night so that was really relaxing for her and us–she watched “Heathers; The Musical” on Roku and we had a leisurely dinner, etc. It was a nice change of pace.

And today is going to be leisurely, too–State has a ballgame tonight at LSU and we will watch but no traveling today or tomorrow so that will be restful, too. We do plan to go to church unless something goes wrong with Bob’s allergies at some point.

I am feeling good. I had a good session with Tillie, and we talked a few things out. Things are going so well right now and I am grateful for that. The holidays are soon going to kick in, and that’s going to be stressful for everybody with my father-in-law gone–he loved Christmas and all the carrying on that went with it.

I don’t know much else to say. I hope everyone is doing well that is reading. Thanks for your attention and care. Have a good weekend. Godspeed.

Therapy Day

I go see Tillie today and am not sure what I’ll talk about. I may ask her about my concerns weaning off of this medicine that Dr. Bishop gave me for the sleep apnea. I will see what she has to say.

Bob left early and I stayed in bed until my mother called to talk about coming to visit next week. I guess they want to come down for my birthday. I told her I was only off on Mondays and Fridays and that I had an appointment early Monday morning. But we will see how it goes.

I got a lot done yesterday at work–made some authors feel good by sending them positive reviews of their work that had been sent to us for filing. One note I got right before I signed off was particularly sweet so that made me feel good in that I seemed to have made her day by sending her such a positive review. So that was good to know.

SO I guess I need to sign out and see what I can get done before I have to leave. Hope everyone has a good weekend. Godspeed.