Tag: bipolar disorder

Appleton

We have been touring around the Fox River area all day–having fun! We went to the first fully electrified house in the world and spent two hours touring it with a really knowledgeable guide. So that was deeply interesting to us.

We’re heading to a zoo now. It is surprisingly hot for as far north as we are.

My mood is good so that helps.

Advertisement

Summer Vacation 2023

Going to a cheese festival in Little Chute, Wisconsin! We are waiting for Bob to come home for lunch; we’ll eat and then head out and hopefully get two hours north of Memphis before we stop for the night. I am looking forward to a longer vacation and being somewhere I’ve never been before.

We are also going to stop on the way back and see a friend of mine from Mississippi State that I haven’t seen in over thirty years–he was a young professor that came to State when I was in grad school. I never took a graded class with him, but we did interact quite a bit as he was involved in the freshman writing program I taught in. Well, back when I first got back on the internet for my freelance work in 2000, I looked him up and emailed him. I didn’t think he would remember me, but he did! And we’ve been corresponding now for years, but haven’t spoken or met again.

When i said something about coming through Wisconsin, he invited us to meet his wife and he for lunch. So we will and have a visit.

I did work this morning and got done what I wanted to get done so that was good. Now I need to sign off and finalize packing and laundry. Hope everyone has a good day today–I will be posting some from my phone but it may be spotty. We will see. Godspeed.

New News

I had sent a query to NAMI Blog about an upcoming emphasis in September about the impact of suicide–I wanted to write about what I went through when someone close to me attempted suicide–and I blamed myself. They said they would like to look at it, so I sent what I have. Not sure if it completely suits the theme, but we will see.

I’m getting laundry ready to pack tonight and get ready to go on our big vacation to Wisconsin. I will work tomorrow morning from home and get everything ready at work to be out and then we’ll head out after Bob comes home. So that’s the way it’s going to work.

I can’t tell if I’m heading for mania or just waking up from being shut down while going through my most dangerous period of the year. I hope it’s not mania. I am trying to keep it tamped down but don’t know if that’s healthy either. I didn’t get in to see Tillie today–we played a lot of phone tag. But we will see if she can see me when we get back from our trip, and I might have more data to work with if I keep an eye on myself and my emotions.

I suppose that’s it. Need to finish laundry and see what else i can accomplish tonight. Hope everyone has a good day and week–posting will be light while I’m gone–but I do plan to type a bit. Godspeed to all.

Back Home

We saw my middle daughter this morning for breakfast then headed back home. We could not have had a better time with them. We did fun things and had a good time and good family bonding.

But I realized something on the trip.

I am not content, really. I’m comfortably numb. I’m not using food to stuff my feelings down anymore, and whenever they start to bubble up, I tamp them down and ignore them. That’s not healthy either.

I’m not sure what to do about it. I plan to talk to Bob about it this afternoon or tonight. Not sure when.

I do think it’s why I’m avoiding writing (and even reading) right now. I don’t want to feel vulnerable on the page. I don’t want to hurt in any way. I don’t want to feel the uncomfortable feelings again so I am trying to mute them and keep them punched down. I don’t have enough confidence in my coping skills to let all my feelings loose.

This was a very good insight to have, but not a happy one. In fact, it a darn depressing thought. It’s why I’m not risking anything–I don’t want the feelings of vulnerability and failure.

Renaissance Fair

We went to the Georgia Renaissance Fair today and had such a great time! It was wild–we drove and drove on two-lane roads throught woods and finally, BAM! We were in a traffic jam to get in the parking area.

We ate and walked around and people-watched all the cosplayers and saw three performances: acrobats, an Irish band, and a dulcimer group. So much fun!

Now I am resting at the hotel and Bob and the girls are out walking around town. I may take a nap.

Godspeed!

Traveling

I typed a post earlier and it didn’t post when I hit publish. Odd, that.

We went to see the live action Little Mermaid, and I actually enjoyed it. I did not, however, expect the character of Prince Eric to affect me so much. He reminded me so much of myself in a manic episode when he was obsessed with finding “the girl”. I will remember his new signature song for a long time.

My middle daughter seems to be doing well. My youngest is going to spend the night to have some sister time. Me and Bob are just hanging out at the hotel watching Harry Potter.

Typing on my phone so good night

Tired

I haven’t done anything today except going to see Tillie and picking up my medication, but I’m still tired. I managed to avoid stopping and getting a soft drink at the convenience store on the way home, so that’s something. But I may go to sleep the rest of the afternoon!

I don’t know why I would be tired–I don’t remember waking up last night. But a nap sounds really delicious right now.

I had a good session with Tillie; my anxiety is way down and I think that’s good. I had a good time talking about everything going on in my life, so that was nice to see how many things were going well when doing a review. I go see her again in about a month, as I will be busy up until then.

So I suppose that’s all for today. Not sure if I will keep up blogging while gone n my trip; I won’t be taking my computer so I would have to type from my phone. We will see. Godspeed everyone.

End of Workweek

So all done reviewing what I’d already done on my keyword project and poised to start on mailing lists for the month when we get back to work Tuesday. (Monday is the Memorial Day holiday here). I go tomorrow to see Tillie then come back and pack for our trip to visit our middle one in Georgia. We leave Saturday morning and get there right around lunchtime. It’s going to be fun–we will go see the Little Mermaid movie then go to a Renaissance Fair on Sunday, I think. She has things planned, so I think we will enjoy it.

I’m munchy this afternoon. I just need to keep busy and not snack any and wait for dinner. But I’m not sure I’m going to manage that :(. I’m VERY munchy.

Other than that, I am feeling good today. Took all my medicine and am back on an even keel today. We will see how things go this weekend. Then we go to Wisconsin to the cheese festival leaving Wednesday after lunch. Lots of traveling.

I think I will go find something somewhat healthy to munch on. Hope everyone has a good day!