Tag Archive | bipolar disorder


Months ago we saw an advertisement for a LEGO display show down te road from us in Peal. I bought three tickets since Bob was so excited about it. It finally came today, and Bob was too sick to go. So my youngest and I went. There were some really impressive LEGO installations–the Taj Mahal, Washington, DC, Jabba the Hutt’s Court, a whole two tables of NASA installations, from the Saturn V to the ISS, flat LEGO pictures, etc. My youngest took lots of pictures and brought them home to show Bob. Then we went out for pizza and brought him a personal one home.

So that has been my morning. Need to do a little laundry this afternoon and figure out what to eat tonight. Then start putting together the stories I’ve contracted to do. Time has snuck up on me. Wednesday’s my birthday, next Saturday band competitions start, then the next Saturday I fly out for my oldest’s surgery. So I am about to be even busier.

We slept late this morning, but we both needed it-I am having trouble going to sleep and then staying asleep late into the night. I think it’s because of the cut down on some of my medicine, but I’m going to try to stay awake more today and see if that makes a difference. I usually take a nap beginning about now but we also have the ballgame this afternoon. So I’m going to watch that. Maybe we can keep our winning streak going. That would be interesting.

I suppose I will run. I need to go to the grocery store before the game so I need to run. Have a good weekend!


So Bob is home because of his cough and refuses to go get a COVID test. I am so frustrated at him and at his company for not making him get one. He developed symptoms well in the time period for incubation for getting it from our middle one, who’s last quarantine day is today. He says it just feels like a bad sinus infection. Sigh.

I did not sleep well last night. I just laid there with my head just spinning around. I went back to bed after everyone left and caught some up so I don’t feel like face-planting into the keyboard. I sent some emails and swapped around some laundry before I went down so I got a little bit done this morning. I need to follow up on other emails and do some reading. This morning while I was sleeping, I kept thinking I had final exams this week and I hadn’t had time to read the books for one particular class. Anxiety all over again.

It’ll soon be time for lunch–I need to run out and get me a coke or tea or something. Maybe that will keep me awake through this afternoon. I hope so.


I think the weather is making me sleepy. We are experiencing the leftovers of Nicholas down in the Gulf, with a lot of humidity and rain. I need to get out and get milk and some of my medicine. But it looks so yucky out.

We are trying to get tickets for me to go to Orlando to help my oldest when she has her surgery. Bob is supposed to take care of it at lunch today. Hopefully he can.

I’m really feeling the weight of this decision to try full-time work. It’s going to mean a lot of changes around here and a lot of change and determination on my part to get back into the swing of that kind of work. I’ve made several applications now and now am waiting on hearing back. I’m getting kind of scared now. What if no one will hire me? What if I can’t hack the work? Very much self-doubt all of a sudden.

I need to run out and do my errands while it’s not actively raining. Stay safe. Godspeed.


Spoke to Tillie and Dr. Bishop this morning. Talked to both of them about my idea on getting a full-time job. Dr. Bishop said that if I needed a letter for accommodations, he would provide it. Tillie was very concerned I would bite off more than I could chew. I told her I understood that. But I can’t just sit at home all the time and I’m never going to be a proper housewife. It doesn’t fulfill me and I am no longer a stay-at-home-mom, which kept me busy before. My youngest is just about ready to launch–if Bob and I work together, we can manage her last year or so in school. I told Bob last night that it was what I wanted to do. He didn’t argue or discourage me so that was good.

I’ve filled out three formal applications I’ve found on LinkedIn and I’m going to talk to people I know if anything else is going on. I am being very selective in what I am trying to do. I don’t want to bite off too much, and I don’t want to get caught up in something I don’t think I will enjoy or I’m not qualified for. So we will see.

Otherwise Tillie and I had a good talk. We will just see what happens. I think I am going to chase a few more rabbits and see what I can find out. Hope everyone is staying safe. My middle one is feeling much better from COVID. SoI am glad of that. Godspeed.

I’ve Done It

I’ve actually done some things this morning! I went to the grocery store and picked up a few things then made another phone call on my MCIR story and got some response, which was great! Still have calls to do but I am going to be speaking to legislators and such so I will get a lot of wiggly squirmy answers trying to not say anything that will hurt themselves.

I did lie down after doing so much until I got the phone call, so now I’m awake and back up doing things. I Will soon be getting lunch so that will be nice. Mike got his copy of my thesis and wrote me the nicest note about me sending it to him and including him in the dedication. So that was nice to hear.

I will soon need to work on my October piece or BPHope. I am trying so hard to stay up on doing these assignments. I need to find the fun in writing again. This part is fun to me–the blogging where I can just talk about whatever I want and share my thoughts. But the more structured stuff needs to be fun again as well and stop being afraid of the blank page.

I am hungry. I’m going to go ahead and wind up here and eat. Hope everyone has a good week. Mine is starting off well and I hope it can continue that way.


We went to the high school game last night and saw our youngest one march in the and. She was a flag tosser and they performed really well. The band as a whole sounded really well to me. We left with less than five minutes in the fourth quarter behind by at least a touchdown–and then the other team fumbled on their own thirty-five yard line and we scored and won! Such a nice surprise to come home to after giving up. We are going to watch State tonight, I think.

.Talked to my middle one who is handling COVID much better the second time around. She’s had the vaccine now and i handling it well. Bob finally went in to take the vaccine because their work insurance plan insisted everyone get it or submit to weekly testing. I am glad he finally decided to; With his lung problems, he didn’t need to keep going without them.

I think I’m going to take a nap after I finish. Bob didn’t sleep well so neither did I. I will enjoy a nap. I hope I can get phone calls done the first of next week and finally wrap up this story.

Need todo a couple more emails before I do. Hope everyone stays safe this weekend. We seem to have passed the peak in this wave. Hopefully cases and deaths will keep dropping. Pray for Louisiana–people are still suffering there.




Just got off the phone with my middle one–she said she is actually feeling better somewhat. She has a date to return to work on September 20–hopefully she will be all better by then and finish out her quarantine period.

My youngest tested herself again today, and it was negative so she is still going to the football game this weekend with her grandparents. I am going to go see my mom on her birthday Sunday. I need to go pick up a present for her today. I hope I will just be able to walk in and get it and not have to order anything. But we will see.

I got up early this morning but couldn’t face not being to do much with a long empty day, so I went back to sleep. We will see ow the rest of the day goes. I’m going to make some phone calls once Bob leaves and try to accomplish something besides laundry today.

I’m not ruminating anymore, so that is good. I can stop my thinking before it gets out of control. I am trying to talk to myself and encourage myself but whenever I do I still have the underlying soundtrack of, “It doesn’t matter; I don’t care” going on–not as loudly as before, though. Maybe soon I can completely leave all that behind.

I guess I will run try to get something done. Hope everyone has a good Friday and a good weekend. Godspeed.

Next Day

I feel much better even though I slept in a bit. We have had some excitement–my middle one that we just visited called yesterday to say she has COVID. We went out and got home tests and found out we’re all negative. So that was good news. Bob is having to stay off work until he takes another test and it’s negative. And since my youngest had a negative test she doesn’t have to quarantine from school. I just hope they were all real negatives and we don’t get sick.

I asked my mid e one if she wanted me to come up since last time she got dangerously down with it, and she said she thought she could make it on her own. So that is where we are with that.

I need to run out and get us some quick meals for the next three nights–my youngest is going to be out with friends tonight, we have the ball game tomorrow night, and my youngest is supposed to go spend the night with her grandparents Saturday night. We will see if I go see my parents Saturday after I call them in just a bit.

I just want to catch my breath between crises, please. At least this time I’m not working myself into a frenzy. I am a lot calmer. So that is a help.

Hope everyone is being safe. We are doing our best down here. Pray as you feel led. Thanks so much for reading.

First Day

I actually got up before Bob left this morning and have stayed awake all morning. So that makes me feel good. I have a phone call coming in this morning at ten so I will be busy most of the rest of the morning. Hopefully I can get laundry started and maybe do some work on my MCIR story. We will see.

Candy and Christy are here so we have had fun talking. They thought my purse was cute. Christy had to take her daughter to Memphis for a doctor’s appointment so they came today instead of yesterday. Not much chatter this morning, so that is why I am back on this right now.

I am starting to yawn–I might start lunch right after my phone call. I’m already getting a little hungry from getting up so early. But at least I have my new medical regimen going. I don’t feel as down so I am hoping this is a real change.

I thank all you folks who leave comments cheering me on. It’s nice to know someone is pulling for you to succeed. I appreciate all my readers, new or old. I’ll make it. I have a good support system, good health care, good counseling, and a good God to lean on. Godspeed.

Dr. Bishop

So I went to Dr. Bishop and explained the kind of trouble I was having. He cut out some of my medications and re-added one I used to be on back in. We will need to see what kind of reaction I have to that–I go back to him next week and see how it’s going. He said if this cocktail had the effect he hoped it had he didn’t see any trouble with me going down to help my oldest when she has her surgery. So we will see how things turn out next week then make travel plans.

I did switch everything to my new Snoopy Coach purse and love it. I need to work through the papers that were in my old one and see what needs to be kept and what needs to be tossed. I may do that this afternoon.

All I know is that I want to feel better and do better. I hate how I’ve been feeling. I don’t want it to go on. I want to be so much more well. I guess I will sign off at this point. Pray that the new medication works and that I will start doing better. Godspeed, everyone.