Tag Archive | bipolar disorder

Terrible Weather

We has terrible weather yesterday afternoon and last night  Rain, tornados, straight-line winds, trees down, electric lines down, power outages, etc.  It was one more big mess.  But we escaped it unscathed so we are blessed this morning.

Went to class and took up papers and explained the next assignment. Then I let them go early because it was Good Friday and we shouldn’t have even had class that day.  SO now I’m home trying to catch up on work while I have the energy to do it  I’m going to try to get Bob’s laundry done before lunch so that will be out of the way.

I really want to go back to sleep.  But I’m going to try to stay up and do things I’ve let fall behind.  I need to wrap presents for my middle one’s birthday and work on sorting out my grade book so I’ll be ready for finals.

I also need to work on my last papers for my classes.  I should be able to get them done in plenty of time but that is going to be difficult regardless because I really don’t know what I am doing in Drama  But it’s time to fish or cut bait in that class so I will see what I can do here at the last.

I/m trying so hard to finish up strong  But I don’t feel strong  I feel tired and wrung out and a little hopeless, too.  I’m not sure why.  Unless it’s just springtime and time for me to be depressed.  I don’t know. But I do know who holds the future so I will just have to rest in that and do the best I can.  Hope everyone has a good Easter weekend and a wonderful sense of where God is leading you.

 

 

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Too TIred

Too tired to write today.  Sorry.  Maybe better tomorrow. It is raining here with threatening severe weather.  I have slept on and off all day.

 

Easy Day So Far

Had an easy day in class–finally got caught up with grading and handed assignments back.  Most of the grades were good so no static there.  Then we did evaluations.  So I left the classroom and assigned someone to bring them back to the English office.  So I’m sure some people had fun with that.

I need to get going now on my assignments for my classes.  I have two papers to write for Drama.  Then I have to do my final essay for Memoirs.  That shouldn’t be too hard.  I’ve gotten my professor to agree to what I want to do so that is good.  I also got suggestions from my Drama teacher about my final papers there so feel somewhat prepared to do that.  I will work on that this week before Easter and then afterwards.

I must just have spring fever.  I just don’t feel like buckling down and accomplishing anything.  I just want to sit outside in the sun and soak it all in.  We’re supposed to have nasty weather tonight but it is really nice out right now.  So I just want to be lazy.  Not a nice thing to admit but it’s true. I really need to work on that, but I don’t know if it’s a function of my bipolar for sure or not.  I know I don’t feel depressed but I’m acting depressed, Bob says, and that is part of it.

Have some more time here in the office before I can go home.  I will just hang out and relax and wait for people to come by and ask about their final grades.  We will see how that goes.  Hope everyone has a good day and a good rest of the week.

 

 

Backslid

I wound up going back to bed after Bob and Rachel left this morning.  I was so sleepy.  I need to grade today (again!) but I should be able to do it this morning before lunch.  I’m looking forward to being done for a while once school is over.  I know I will miss it this fall if I don’t teach, though.

I did get out the books yesterday and looked over them to see if I did get that section if I would even be able to manage pulling a syllabus together on the short notice.  I decided I would after looking through the table of contents.  SO that was comforting.

Candy and Christy are here after me missing them for a while.  I’m glad we’ve been able to talk today. SO I don’t feel so lonely.  I am hungry though.  I can wait until lunch time, though.  I’ve lost some weight so that has been good to see happening. I have so much to lose, but I think I can do it as long as I look at it as a long-term project.

I need to get to work and get going on everything that needs doing.   Hope every has a happy and productive week.  Thanks for reading.

 

Pretty Day

It’s nice and sunny out but a bit chilly.  No matter.  I can cover up for the cold but can’t manufacture sunlight.  So that was a nice change from all the bad weather we had this weekend with the terrible storms and tornados.  So blessed that we escaped the worst of that–my middle daughter had a bit of a scare at school but there was no damage to the campus so that was good as well.

Got some of my grading done this morning and will finish the next bit probably after I finish typing here.  Such a slow class period. They were supposed to be working on their assignment due Friday but I had a lot absent today.  SO the final assignment might be more interesting than I expect.

I am awake this morning–spent all day yesterday awake.  I want to say that means I am getting better.  We had a healing service at church–whenever we have the Lord’s Supper, the pastor always asks people to come down and pray for healing, so I did for my bipolar.  He prayed over me and I have felt much, much better since then–in my mood, my alertness levels, etc.  So I am going to claim healing in this season and hold on to that.

And I am still losing weight.  I am not hungry very much but still want to snack out of boredom.  I get one snack a day and have been taking it in the afternoon.  Hopefully I can continue to lose on the diet and when I plateau, I can add back in exercise and continue to lose down to my goal weight.  God is good!

I need to go input attendance today so I will go and do that.  Hope everyone has a good day today!

 

Better Mood

Just had a good long talk with my oldest about everything going on–it’s her day off and she was heading into the park to eat lunch on Tom Sawyer’s Island.  WE had a really nice conversation; she was upbeat and happy.  So so nice to hear that.

I had been having kind of a rough morning up to that point–I almost fell outside the library carrying too much stuff trying to get back to my car after class.  I dropped all my folders all over the steps.  A very sweet girl helped me pick it all up after making sure I was all right.

WE go out to eat tonight with our sunday school class at a really fun place to eat–the Feathered Cow.  Not sure who all is going to be there but we should have a good time

Finished a book for class about two brothers who gambled away their entire inheritance in two years–part of my class on Memoirs.  It was interesting to respond to since I struggle with impulsive behavior as well  But I’ve gotten better and am better able to squash  such behavior before I act on it.  So that is a huge improvement in my disease.

I need to work on laundry after lunch and will see how that goes  Hope everyone has a good weekend and enjoys themselves.  Thanks for reading!

To Whoever

To whoever spent a lot of time reading this blog yesterday morning:  I hope you got some encouragement and peace from reading my story,  That is why I blog, and I hope you come back and visit again soon.

I talked with Tillie and had a good session with her. She reminded me that I had felt existentially hopeless like this before and we talked about the ways I got through it then.  So that was a good reminder.  Then I came home, ate lunch, then set up my radio outside, put it on an 80’s station, and graded papers for the early part of the afternoon. It took about two and a half hours, but I got them all finished and can now go back to class.    I give a test Friday and get another assignment handed in but if I work at it, I can get them done Friday before Bob gets home..  SO we will see how that goes.

THe sermon last night was challenging, talking about sharing your faith,  I’ve been doing this just a little bit with some of my classmates in Memoirs and it is weird seeing what kind of reaction I get.  Now that I’m stronger in faith I feel more led to be more open about it with them even though my campus is kind of a hostile environment for it.  They’re all so liberal and openminded about everything but Christians.  🙂  But I feel like I make more of a difference on this blog witnessing then I can one on one any way.

Well I suppose I need to get started on today’s agenda which includes grocery shopping.  Not sure what all I am going to buy but I need to go get more healthy food 🙂  Wish me luck!