So Social Security says I can only get a year’s worth of back payments for the two younger ones and nothing for my oldest because I didn’t file at the right time.  But my youngest will continue to get benefits until she graduates high school as I understand it.  I kind of want to kick up a fuss about it, take them to court, but the attorney fees would take up so much of their back benefit that it wouldn’t be worth it.   I’m just so mad that I didn’t do this for my kids and let them get their benefits.

Anyway. My oldest one comes home from her internship next week.  She has so incredibly enjoyed it and has learned so much and done so much.  We couldn’t have asked for Colonial WIlliamsburg to have been any better to her. My middle one has to come home sometime soon to pick up her credit card so maybe I will set eyes on her this month after all.  We got to New Orleans next weekend and need to be getting ready for that.   We will see how that goes.

On the bright side, I heard from my department head–he is waiting for registration of freshmen to close then he will know better if he can offer me a class.  SO I am looking forward to hearing from him. ‘




Senator’s Office

So I did call my senator’s local office yesterday and got my request in with them that they do what they can to expedite my claim for my kids’ benefits.  I had to fill out a release form giving them permission to get information about my case, so that was fun.  I got the release, filled it out, and had Bob fax it back, then they couldn’t read all of my writing.  So they called me to check on all the numbers.  So we got that straightened out.  Hopefully they will be able to move this along a little faster than it would have taken otherwise.

The  reason I’m so committed to this  process is that God can take this situation and use it to bless the older two financially at a critical time in their lives–when they’re just starting out.  Having it through all the years would have let us save it up at interest but this will be better than nothing.

I ate with my friend KT yesterday at a really good Chinese place.  SHe and I were both wearing yellow so that was funny.  Things are going well for her–her daughter has an internship with UMC coming up and will be at home then going off to graduate school somewhere (she hasn’t decided).  But we had a good visit during her lunch hour.

I was talking to my buddy Mike in Wisconsin and sent him my poem I wrote about the ballplayer traded for catfish, and he told me that ever since I had shown him a poem I had done for class back when we were both at State twenty years ago, he had thought I was a great poet first and then a very good everything-else.  He said he loved all my writing, but that my poetry was especially good.  I’ve never thought that way.  Maybe I should take poetry again and see how I do.  I’ll have to think about that.



I learned a new word about a month ago: neurodivergent.

Some of you may have heard it before and know what it means.  For those who don’t the following  is from Wikipedia:  “This portmanteau of neurological and divergent originated in the late 1990’s as a challenge to prevailing views of neurological diversity as inherently pathological, instead asserting that neurological differences should be recognized and respected as a social category on par with gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and disability status.”

In other words, I’m no longer mentally ill.  I’m neurodivergent instead.

The article goes on to note that the term is controversial, with two opinions basically shaping the debate–one side that believes that bipolar disorder, autism, etc. are mental diseases that should be treated as such, and another that believes that people with these conditions are merely variations of normal human behavior and should be protected from those who would force them to behave differently or “conform to a clinical ideal”. There is even a part of their platform that actively advocates what is called an anti-cure perspective.

In other words, accept them, accommodate them, but don’t cure them.

I can’t think of a position more damaging to the mentally ill than this one.  Don’t work for a cure?  What kind of talk is this?

I’ll say this much for the record as far as I can tell.  I have been manic.  I have been depressed.  I have on occasion been normal without psychotropic medications. I will take normal any day of the week over manic, mixed, depressed or any other variation. I don’t need the PC police coming along and telling me I’m normal when I’m not and that I should simply learn to embrace my differentness.   I cannot do so.  I  will not do so. I will fight bipolar disorder with every tool in my arsenal, including medication in whatever form they give it to me.  I will be educated about my disorder and will fight for my rights as a patient to have my disorder treated on a par with heart disease and diabetes.  I feel this “neurodivergent  ” viewpoint I just as damaging as criminalizing mental illness.  It’s too much of a pendulum swing.

After decades of fighting to get a treatment model instead of a punishment model, along comes what is essentially a license to ignore the needs of the mentally ill once again, this time by normalizing their behavior.  I’m sorry.  This movement is wrongheaded and damaging, no matter how well-intentioned they are.


Social Security Disability Reps

I just got a phone call  (actually a robocall) from someone claiming to be with a company saying that I had recently inquired about drawing Social Security disability benefits.  Now, I’ve been drawing benefits since 2007.  So I asked her who she was and what her company did.  She said they could help me qualify for up o $2,000+ in benefits.  I told her I was already drawing benefits.  She said that someone in my household had recently made this call and could I put that person on the line.  I said that there was no one else eligible in the house for them.  After the robot processed this information a couple of times, she hung up.

I called Social Security to inquire how this company got its information.  The person answering said they had no idea–there wasn’t any activity on my claim since my trial work period decision had been made.  She did say they were a legitimate company that represented people who filed claims

I’m here to tell you that you don’t need ANYONE to help you file your claim.  No one knows your condition better than you, so you are your own best advocate.  You may say, “I don’t understand the rules, though,”

Guess what?  Neither do most of the lawyers that claim to help with filing applications.  I know them because I worked for them for seven years.  But I only know the medical side of it–I know very little about the financial side, that being a determination made by a Social Security employees rather than a Disability Determination Services employee. If you do sign up for a representative to help you file your claim, you forfeit 25% of your benefits to that person unless they waive that right.   That’s a steep price to pay someone who is often actually not very helpful. SO don’t be fooled by a lawyer or especially a private individual who claims to be able to help you get benefits. You can do it on your own.

The Results

The process can take a while, depending on how quickly the agency can collect your medical records.  Call all your medical providers and alert them to the fact that Social Security will be requesting your records.  Always fill out forms promptly and send them back so that you can get a decision as quickly as possible.  Go to all appointments that are scheduled for you and be as honest as possible about your condition.

If you do not have insurance and cannot work full-time, filing for benefits can be a big help in both realms of needing treatment and income.  If you are found eligible for Social Security benefits, within two years if the condition persists, you can become eligible for Medicare, which will pay most of your hospital and doctor bills.  If you meet the income threshold for Supplemental Security Income, you can be immediately eligible for Medicaid, which will also cover prescriptions for your condition as well as medical bills.  Be persistent in pursuing your claim and as honest and open about your problems as possible so that you can be found eligible if your condition is severe enough.

The Process

Social Security goes through a step-by step process to determine if you are medically eligible for benefits.  The first step is to collect your medical records.  If you have been treated for your condition, you need to turn that information in.  List all doctors, counselors, hospitals, mental health centers, and other treatment facilities you have been in. Social Security pays those entities to send your records in to them.  If you haven’t been able to afford regular treatment, Social Security can send you to a medical professional for a complete evaluation that they pay for. This doctor cannot treat you; they simply do an evaluation that they then send to Social Security.

With bipolar disorder, a key factor in being allowed for benefits is the frequency of your episodes.  I was found eligible because I had experienced both manic and depressive episodes at a certain frequency.  You can also be found eligible depending on the type of difficulty you are having working.  You can be allowed on what is called your “mental residual functional capacity” which is Social Security’s term for what kinds of work functions you are still able to perform.  If you are found unable to do skilled or unskilled work, you can be allowed for benefits.  If you have restrictions in being able to interact with people, you can be found eligible as well.

When reporting your symptoms, particularly if you do not have regular treatment, be as specific and honest as possible.  If you are taking medication and have side effects, make sure you report those as well, particularly if you have had to discontinue certain medications because of the severity of the side effects.  If you are noncompliant with treatment, that can affect whether or not Social Security will allow you for benefits, depending on the situation.  If you have co-existing diagnoses, be sure to include those in your information as well.

I was sent on an exam by Social Security, but since I had regular treatment, I was able to schedule the appointment with my treating psychiatrist.  The exam consisted of my doctor asking me about my current functioning day to day and about my difficulties working.  Depending on your diagnosis, you may also do psychological testing, such as IQ testing and memory testing.

If you are allowed for benefits, you will get a notification from Social Security telling you your onset date (when you became eligible) and how much you will receive in benefits.  Keep this letter for your records.  If you are denied, you have avenues to appeal this decision.  Do not get discouraged if you are denied the first time.  Tell the Social Security office that you want to appeal this decision.  Your case will be reviewed again by the agency that issued the denial, depending on if you were denied because of medical or financial considerations. IF you are denied again, you can appeal that decision as well, going before a judge versed in Social Security law.  Contrary to what some may tell you, you do not need a lawyer to appeal to the judge—you can handle your own appeals.  Avenues for appeal exist even after this level—Social Security can inform you about your options at that point.


(International readers–this post discusses the American government system of aiding those with disabilities.  I can’t comment on any others)

By 2007, it was becoming increasingly obvious that my condition was not improving to the point that I could return to work.  It had been about nine months since I had turned in my last assignment for my freelance work. We were not in any kind of financial straits, but I was used to having my own money and paying my own expenses.  Since I had worked for the Social Security Disability Insurance program for seven years, I was intimately familiar with the process, and I decided to file for benefits.

I had a few reasons for doing this.  One was simply to have my own money to spend on my share of the household bills. Another was that if I stayed off work too long and didn’t pay into the system, I wouldn’t be able to get benefits later on.  I also wanted to be able to take advantage of Medicare in case my husband’s work ever dropped their insurance benefits.  His insurance had been very good to pay for my bills thus far, but it had a lifetime limit to benefits, and I wanted to have a backup insurance in case I maxed it out.  I was also thinking about protecting myself—I knew that in case anything ever happened to Bob, I needed to have a steady income outside of his salary.

The first step was to call the local Social Security office and file my claim.  I believe all my information was taken over the telephone at that point.  You can also go to the office personally and be interviewed or you can request forms be sent to you by mail.  Two sets of information are collected—information about your financial state and information about your condition.  The financial information is to see if you also qualify for benefits under Supplemental Security Income, the disability program for the poor and people who are not covered by the Social Security Disability Insurance.  The medical information, including the doctors and hospitals you have seen, is used to collect your medical records to aid in determining if you are medically eligible for benefits.

An important element in the financial determination is your earnings.  I was not working at all at the time I filed for benefits.  Some part-time workers are eligible for benefits as long as the pay does not exceed a certain threshold.  This threshold is called “substantial gainful activity”.  The idea is that if you cannot work enough to earn a certain amount of money due to your condition, you may be eligible for benefits.  If you had to cut back to part-time because of your condition, you may be found eligible at the point that you had to reduce your hours or pay.  This finding can increase your back payment benefit and can make you immediately eligible for benefits without having to fully quit work and without having to go through the five-month waiting period for benefits to start.  In my case, I was found eligible as soon as my earnings ended in July 2006.