Woke Up Late

AGAIN. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m not even hearing the alarm in the morning.

I feel so discombobulated this morning. I just want to get to work on time, ready to go and able to work. I’m barely able to get breakfast and get ready on time when this happens. It makes me feel so ill when it does. Anxiety and everything else starts to kick in.

I guess I need to go ahead and start getting ready. So frustrating. At least if it happens tomorrow, I am working from home. Pray my mood gets better. I have a full day at work. Godspeed to all.

This Doesn’t Bode Well

I tossed and turned all last night until early this morning right before the alarm went off. I’m going to stop off and get a Coke this morning because I do NOT want to go through what I did last week again. I hope I will be okay.

My mother-in-law came over yesterday and spent part of the day with us; it was a spur-of-the-moment thing. We ate watermelon and sat around the table and tried to solve the world’s problems. But it was a good visit.

I need to get moving. Hope everyone has a good day. Pray I’ll stay awake driving in. Godspeed to all.

Happy 4th of July!

We’re getting a slow start on the day–Bob is sleeping in and I am up typing. My youngest is sleeping, too, I think. We don’t have much of anything planned for today, just being lazy.

Bob and I sat down and talked last night. I told him how much he had upset me when he said Saturday that he hoped I didn’t get obsessed with writing again. I just told him that I didn’t like that he didn’t trust me still, even though I was doing so much better with the bipolar. I had been talking to him about writing on and off lately, and I thought he was over that worry, so I had been sharing with him a good bit. His comment made me want to just shut down again. But I didn’t want to live in fear. So we talked. Don’t know as we solved anything, but he knows he made me angry. He promised to keep an open mind.

Anyway. I’m getting sleepy again. I may go back to sleep myself. But we will see. My mood is good, and my nerves aren’t strung too high either. So I think it’s going to be a good day. I may try to rest some more before Bob wakes up. I go to work in the office tomorrow so I will need to be well-rested anyway. Probably will go to bed early so I will be and won’t have that terrible a time going in to work.

Hope everyone has a good day. Godspeed.

A Slow Day

Haven’t done much today so far. We went to Sunday School, but whatever was floating around in the air last week was again this week, only much less. But Bob still coughed really hard walking downstairs, like he had to stop and put the inside of his elbow to his mouth and stand still and cough. SO we came home. I took a nap because I just didn’t feel like I slept good last night. So that was that.

I’ve worked out a lot of problems with my fiction project that I hope to write about today on my new fiction blog. It’s at http://www.julieliddellwhitehead.wordpress.com So after reading here, hop over there to see what I’ve been up to.

We had a good day yesterday–my youngest went off on a trip with her boyfriend and his parents, and me and Bob just meandered around town. We stayed home some as well and just chilled out.

My anxiety is much better, and so is the bipolar disorder. I think they’re linked in that I get depressed when the anxiety takes over. I’m working really hard to contain it. I don’t think I’ll ever completely tame it, but I want at least a healthy co-existence. We will see how this week goes.

Another week and we are gone to Disney. I’m taking my computer so I can work on my workshop at night and we will see how that goes. So I plan to blog as well. Hope everyone enjoys the American holiday tomorrow and has a good week. Godspeed.

Chipping Away

I’ve only got three more stories to finish for my fiction project revision based on the first two readers. I hope I’m staying true to the spirit of the original stories so it doesn’t read like a patchwork. I like to think that I know what I am doing now whereas I didn’t really back then when I first wrote it. But I am trying to keep the immediacy of the original narratives and not do too much thinking for my characters. The worst thing has been story continuity–making sure the timeline holds up and changing them to ensure there’s not any weird mid-story changes in when they happened. That has forced some changes I really don’t like. But that’s the nature of the beast.

My youngest has gone off with her boyfriend’s family to a day trip down south in Hattiesburg and environs. Not sure what all they’ll be up to but hope they have fun. WE’re just going to have a quiet weekend. We need to go to Wal-mart and get some things for the trip to Disney–sunscreen, me some socks, etc. I have a zoom for my workshop so will have fun with that this afternoon. I need to get more done in it but only a few tasks appealed to me this week, so I didn’t do very much. But we will see what next week brings.

SO hope everyone can enjoy their time off this weekend. Thanks for reading. Godspeed.

Wow

So I finally finished all my errands and I get to sit still for a while. Whew!

Went to see Dr. Bishop and told him about my episode driving Tuesday. He’s referring me to a sleep doctor for a CPAP and sleep study. So that sounds like a TON of FUN. But if it helps, it helps.

Went to see Tillie and told her all about my new coping skills I’m learning in dealing with my anxiety. She was impressed. After almost seventeen years of therapy, I’ll bet she’s glad for me to finally be doing all the stuff she’s told me to do over the years. 🙂 But I’m learning.

Went to see Holly for my haircut and that was special too. She is a very good friend, and we shared some great stories together.

Then I came home, ate lunch, and ran to the grocery store. I finally got in about thirty minutes ago and put together red beans and rice for tonight for supper and got my afternoon snack. So I have had a busy productive day today. Now to see what else I can manage for the afternoon. I may just rest. But I bet I’ll write the way I’ve been going.

Let’s see what the rest of the day holds. What’s left of it anyway. Godspeed.

A Little Improvement

I had a lot of trouble yesterday, too. I kept glitching things. I finally contacted my supervisor and asked if there was something simple I could do that afternoon that could be completed easily. I just said that the catching-up process on both tasks I was concentrating on was very overwhelming. So I got a break and fixed something else that needed fixing in our recordkeeping system. I think it took care of a problem coming down the road when we get to another task that been left undone for a long time. So we will see how today goes.

I feel better knowing I identified at least one of the problems I was having. I still don’t know why I was so sleepy Tuesday and couldn’t work at all. But figuring out the problem with the workflow I was having yesterday did a lot for my confidence today. SO I feel better able to tackle the big workflow problem again. We will see.

Tomorrow I do all my running around with Dr. Bishop, Tillie, and Holly. So I will be busy but it’s all good, important stuff to get taken care of. I can talk through my anxiety with Tillie and get a better handle on it hopefully. So that will be good.

SO I’m hoping today will be better even. So think about me today with my overwhelm. Thanks so much for reading!

Bad Day Yesterday

I had a very, very bad day.

I drove into work and almost didn’t make it there. I could not keep my eyes open. I caught myself weaving on the interstate. I can’t remember the last time I did that. It’s used to happen a lot when the kids were little but not since then.

Then I got to work and couldn’t type worth anything. Couldn’t concentrate. I just wanted to lie down on the floor and go to sleep. After an hour of this, I just called Bob. He said he would come get me after I told him about my driving.

SO I slept most of the day yesterday.

I still don’t know what happened. I felt better in the afternoon and woke up on time this morning, but it was scary.

Now I don’t know if I need to try to go in or not today. I feel better than yesterday, but I felt okay starting yesterday off, too. The temptation is to try to work from home today and tomorrow when I usually do. I think that’s what I’ll do. Split the difference between going to work and risking another drive and not working at all. SO I’m going to text my boss.

Here’s to having a better day.

Rushed

I’m rushed this morning. I didn’t get up with the first alarm and was glad Bob had a second one set at 6:30 a.m. So I am trying to finish everything before I have to leave. But I am still so sleepy.

I also didn’t make a list to accomplish for today and will kind of be winging it. But going in to work, and I already know what the priorities are for the job right now, so it’s kind of taken care of for me. So I will power away and see what all I can get done.

I feel in a good mood this morning and am slowly waking up enough to know that it’s going to be a good day today. Such a freeing feeling to know that even as my day is not starting as well as I would like. I need to run now and get ready. Hope everyone has a good day. GOdspeed.

Bit by Bit

I’m starting to make headway on getting stuff done with these lists. I finally sorted my laundry this morning and now I’m waiting for Candy and Christy to come. They’re coming a day early this week so I actually get to visit with them while they’re here. So that’s good. And I go see my friend Betsy today for lunch so I’m really looking forward to that.

After lunch I need to go to the grocery store and buy a bit and see where I need to fill the fridge and pantries. We are trying to only buy fresh food so as to keep up with our maintenance phase of our diet. So right now the fridge is completely empty. I’ll buy meals and fruit for the week and see how that goes.

I spent the weekend putting together a Pinterest account for the blog. I’m @julieliddellwhitehead on there if you want to follow me. I’ve collated all my BPHope articles and MCIR articles there and will be cross-posting the blog there as well. So that has been fun to learn.

My mood is really good, but I slept in a bit this morning and that worries me some. But hopefully I will get up on time tomorrow and get to work well. I’ll be by myself in the office–my boss worked ComicCon this weekend and is taking today and Tuesday off as a result. Hopefully my big boss will be back from COVID so that will be good as well.

I guess I will wind up now. Going to be a busy day but looking forward to getting everything done today. Hope everyone has a good week. Godspeed.