Moving The Needle

FInally got some information on one of my stories so that is good. Told MCIR that I was going to be taking a part-time job. She was supportive–I told her I would try to clear these last two stories before I began in February so that made her happy. I told her I still wanted to work for her if I could so i think that helped as well. They’ve been so good to me that I don’t want to give them up for good.

I weighed this morning (early) and I’ve lost three pounds already. So that encourages me to keep going. I’m slowly getting to where I’m not as hungry during the day as I was at first. My coach says that means I am moving into fat-burn mode and will probably be able to lose pretty easily if I stay with the plan. So that is that.

I am doing good mood-wise. Just tired from Bob tossing and turning last night. He said he feels good today except for his cough is trying to kick back up how that he’s off the steroid. But we will stay in this weekend again so as to not aggravate his situation and all. Me and my youngest may go out to eat and bring him something back tomorrow just to get out of the house. We will see.

My father-in-law is home from the hospital, and they are scheduling sitters and home health to come in and help him with everything. He is still in congestive heart failure and he still has pneumonia. But they are controlling it at home. Bob’s mom sounds optimistic, so we are too.

I see TIllie next week and will have a lot to go over with her. I will need to start scheduling my appointments on Monday and Friday so as to not have to take off on my days I work. I am so looking forward to being out and working. I know from talking to the people that it’s not really going to be a challenging job, but just a new routine is sounding exciting.

SO I guess that’s all this morning. I will have to start training my attention span to be longer so I can stay on task longer for work. But it will come. Hope everyone has a good weekend. Godspeed.

Such A Long Week–

And the week still isn’t over. I still have two days.

I feel better than I did yesterday, but Bob is staying home all week on doctor’s orders. We will see how he feels Monday. He has watched me not do much of anything this week and hopefully he understands why I want to go to a part-time job and be accomplishing something for myself. I just don’t have enough to keep me occupied now.

My mood is better than the first of the week as well. So we will see how it goes. I see Tillie next Wednesday and will have a lot to talk about. Bob and I are trying a weight-loss program that involves preprepared snacks, meal replacements, and high-protein, low-carb options. And I just about had a temper tantrum at myself yesterday thinking, I can eat what I want when I want it; I am a grown person, and no one can tell me what to eat. I was just starving in between my meal replacements, and it brought up a bunch of bad feelings from when I was young, etc. So I need to talk this over with Tillie, I think.

So we will see what happens. I will pray about my job offer and about Bob’s health. I hope everyone else is doing well. Stay safe from COVID however you can. Godpseed.

Sick

My COIVD test hasn’t come back yet, but the doctor thinks Bob has regular pneumonia. They don’t want him to go to the hospital because with COVID, it’s not safe for him. So we are just waiting everything out. I went back to bed this morning and haven’t been up very long now. I will see if I can stay going this afternoon to do laundry, etc.

My mood is darkening a little just because I feel so bad. I just wish I felt better physically. Glad I don’t have real work to do right now. I have been offered the UPress job but am thinking more before I take it–I will let them know next week. So that is good. I am excited about starting somewhere. They went up significantly on the pay in their offer, so I feel better about doing it, not like I’d be working strictly for the fun of it. And it’s still under SGA for my disability.

Well, got the call–I don’t have COVID, but the nurse said I may be experiencing side effects from the booster shot. So we just don’t know. But at least my youngest doesn’t have to worry about getting sick as much.

I think I am done for now. Hope everyone is doing well. Godspeed.

I Don’t Feel Well

I went to get tested for COVID myself just a while ago. I really feel bad. I was in bed most of the morning. Bob still has not heard from his COVID test–he still has a fever, and the doctor said if he still had one tomorrow, he wants to see him or teleconference with him. So we are both under the weather. Bob’s dad also has pneumonia and is in the River Oaks Hospital. So we are just sick all over.

I feel okay mood-wise, just not up to doing very much. Glad I don’t have anything immediately due. I hope I hear soon if I am sick with COIVD. I am sick with something, just not sure what.

I think that is all I will say today. I am going to go lay back down. Hope the rest of you are staying well. Godspeed.

Frustration

Long day already. I went to the dentist and had a crown put back on that had come off last Friday. Bob is back home–he started running a fever at work so he came home and got a PCR test for COVID done at the doctor’s office. It will be a few days before it is giving results. He says he feels better–that’s why he went in to work in the first place. So very frustrating.

I am just out of sorts today. I just don’t feel right. I want to go back to bed so much. I did this morning and slept a bit, but I think I have things to do this afternoon and will not really have time, I’m afraid. But I am so worried about Bob and just don’t feel good today.

I don’t have a lot to say. I am going to have to cancel Candy coming because we won’t have his results back by then. At least I don’t have anything else I have scheduled this week I will have to cancel. But I guess we will make it–we always do. Godspeed.

Jealousy

SIgh.

I just read about a new memoir coming out from HarperCollins. I know the author. She is young. She is talented. She is angry. She is everything I am not. And I am infinitely jealous. When will it be my turn? Will it ever by my turn? Is it too late to be my turn? I was writing at her age–and I was grateful for the success I had. I didn’t know it could be so much bigger if I had been certain things. I wasn’t talented enough. Now I know to reach my goals I need to put in the work. But it feels so late. I know it’s not. But I see this success for someone else and I feel left out, passed over. And old.

I know. I’m whining. So I will stop.

We did not get all the snow–we just got a bit that has already melted. But lots of places north and east of us got 3-6 inches or more. Talked to mom–they still have power but have a good it of snow. She said they are staying inside and out of it. If I know my dad, he will go and traipse around a bit. But I don’t think they have ice under it. We will see how it goes. The kids are already out of school tomorrow for MLK Jr. Day so no worries about that. It shouldn’t last long enough to affect Tuesday’s school.

I am cooking lunch. So I need to run. Hope everyone has a good day. Godspeed.

Weather

We have heavy rain going on, but the real worry is tomorrow–some forecasts say we are supposed to get snow. So EVERYONE was at the grocery store this morning. I bought food for up through Monday night. I hope it doesn’t snow; we don’t need more hassle keeping the kids out of school. But we will see how this goes.

Had a weird dream last night that worries me some–it’s like dreams I have had before when I’ve been manic or in a mixed episode. At least I can keep an eye on what is going on since maybe it gave me a heads-up about my mental state. Drat. And I thought I was just doing well.

Bob is getting better slowly. We plan to go out for lunch, and I hope the wet air doesn’t set him back too much. I think we are going to get Mexican. My youngest really likes a certain Mexican restaurant, so we will go there. Then settle in and wait for the weather to do whatever it’s going to do. I just hope if we have winter weather that it’s snow and not ice. I don’t want to lose power.

Such a dreary day. Makes me want to go back to bed. But I don’t think I will this morning. Maybe this afternoon after lunch take a nice nap. We don’t really have anything scheduled to do today–Sunday I should go to church unless we’re snowed in or going to be snowed in at the church if I go. I’m not going to chance it if the weather is really cold. I don’t want to be stuck.

Well, we will be leaving soon for lunch. I hope everyone is doing well this weekend. Pray for Bob as he gets better. Thank you.

Good News

Bob doesn’t have COVID. The doctor said it’s just a really bad sinus infection. But he is home again after coughing so much ta the office that they didn’t feel comfortable letting him stay. He is taking a course of steroids and antibiotics. Hopefully he will get to feeling better soon.

I am feeling pretty good. Just trying to see what I can get done today. I don’t think I am going to hear from anyone today if I haven’t already. Very frustrating. But part of the drill. I think I am just going to play the rest of the day. Write for fun and amusement. That sounds good.

I am in a good mood and have not as much energy as yesterday, but a good bit nonetheless. I got an interesting proposal yesterday–Dr. Bishop suggested that I participate in a media awareness campaign for an outfit he is collaborating with to do research. The campaign would just raise awareness about mental illness as far as I can tell. I think participating would be good. I had questions about what they would do, and I am waiting for answers to that so now I wait.

A longtime friend of mine is looking into applying for disability so she has been picking my brain about it. After so long out of it I warned her that my knowledge may be out of date. But I don’t think I am steering her wrong talking about the vocational rules. As far as I know they have not changed. Just a case of getting her the most advantageous decision.

Well. I think that’s all for today. Hope everyone is primed for a good weekend. Godspeed.

Waiting Again

Bob was just checked for COVID again. He has a lot of pain in his bronchial tubes and went to the doctor. He is home waiting on the COVID test results right now. So we will see what comes of it. I’m not anxious about it–we’ve all had it by now and haven’t had problems with it, and I just got boosted so I doubt I’ll catch it even if he does have a case of it. My youngest may have to be out of school, but we will cross that bridge later.

I am at serious loose ends this morning. I have made all the phone calls and sent all the emails I can at the moment for my stories. I am going to send formal requests for information next week to some of these people if they don’t call back. I am ready to offload some of these stories and get them into print instead of just in my head. But I want them done well so I need to work on a lot of angles.

I am in a good mood and have good energy, which I am trying to use while I have it :). I may have to break out my creative writing prompts and spend time with them to burn off the excess emotional energy I have. I don’t want to just check my emails over and over and over again. I did that yesterday and the day was LONG.

Maybe I can just read today. That would be fun. We will see.

The weather is supposed to be bad upstate so I don’t think we’re going to see my family this weekend. They are talking about snow and sleet. It’s not supposed to hit us here, but we don’t need to be caught up there and get stuck until it all melts. So I suppose we will be home this weekend.

Hope everyone is winding up the week well. Godspeed.

Busy

I’ve had a somewhat busy morning. I’ve made calls for several things so I am working. I’m not having side effects from my COVID booster except a little soreness right at the injection site. So that is a praise to God.

Had another bad sleep. I am starting to wonder if I have a tolerance to the meds that are supposed to help me sleep. I’ve been on this dosage of them for a very long time. I can always go back to Klonopin to help, but I’m scared that will make me too sleepy. I may have to try if I keep tossing and turning. Bob said he did the same so we don’t know who kept who awake the most :).

I sent a resume yesterday to another job that sounds really cool. I hope I hear something back out of it. I really do want to work to fill up my days. I know a full-time job would knock me off disability, but I feel so much better that I used to. Days like today I feel like I could work and do well. The only variable is if I go back and there is too much stress involved. I would just have to play it by ear.

Well, just not much to talk about today. My oldest is cruising with being moved to days and my middle one is doing well as far as we can tell, and the youngest is back in school and getting acquainted with her teachers again. We hope she has a good rest of the year and that COVID doesn’t derail this year as well. Just have to sit tight and see what happens.

Hope everyone is having a good day. I am and am glad of it. Godspeed.